Of Dreams and Desire
by Simoun Sibylla
Summary: As the Mu fight for survival in deep space, Jomy and Leo struggle with a growing desire for each other.  Pairings: Leo x Jomy, Physis x Blue, and more. Sequel to "Of Hope and Sacrifice."
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"Hey, Professor?"

"Yes, Jomy?"

"Do Mu ever fall in love?"

Professor Hillman cleared his throat. "Why, yes. We can and do fall in love. Just like other people."

"But isn't it awkward when everyone around you can read your thoughts and emotions?"

"It's very rude to read others minds without permission," agreed the old man. "With time, all Mu learn how to contain their emotions so that they aren't broadcast widely. So no, it isn't any more awkward that it would be without telepathy. Some would even argue that telepathy allows us to achieve deeper, more meaningful bonds than Humans ever could."

Jomy frowned slightly, then he asked, "You ever been in love, Professor?"

The old man's eyes widened, but then he chuckled. "Ah, well, yes. A very long time ago."

"I see." Jomy fell silent. He rose from his seat and prepared to go, but then he stopped at the door of the classroom and looked back over his shoulder at the professor. "Just one more question."

"Yes?"

"Can the Soldier fall in love, too?"

Hillman stared at Jomy for a long moment. "That's something you should ask the Soldier himself," he said finally, his gruff voice catching slightly in his throat.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

In the two years since they had fled Artemisia, the Mu had survived countless skirmishes and avoided deadlier battles only by fleeing at the first sign of a Human ship. As long as the _Shangri-la_'s stealth device warp drive worked, they could go almost anywhere before the Humans could catch them.

Then, almost eight months ago, the Mu finally slipped beyond the grasp of Universal Control and flew onward into uncharted space where they were, for once, completely unmolested by the enemy.

The peaceful period did not last long, however. The bounds of Human-controlled space were ever expanding, and eventually the Mu ship strayed back into the outer reaches of Human territory. Cloaked in invisibility, the _Shangri-la _carefully tried to steer clear of trouble and managed to skirt past several newly established Human colonies without detection.

But then the ship's stealth device malfunctioned and had to be shut down for repairs. The warp drive could not be activated until the repairs where complete. Accordingly, Captain Harley prepared for the worst, and when the exposed _Shangri-la _encountered a Human trader fleet in the middle of deep space, the Mu were ready.

Most importantly, Jomy felt ready. The years of intensive training and first-hand fighting experience had taught him many hard lessons and given him greater confidence in his abilities.

The Human fleet immediately launched an all-out attack, as though its computers had been pre-programmed to attack the moment they detected the renegade Mu vessel. But the _Shangri-la _met the sudden barrage with an impenetrable shield and retaliated with even greater firepower.

Jomy threw himself out of an airlock to face the enemy barehanded in space. He was the Soldier. He would fight.

He was not bent on destroying the relatively defenseless trading vessels, though—all he needed to do was to buy enough time for the repairs on the stealth device to be completed. But the battle escalated, and suddenly Jomy found himself surrounded, with ships firing at him from all directions. He dodged and swerved nimbly through space, avoiding each shot, but then he noticed a massive, brilliant orange ray of death materializing above his head. It aimed straight at him. With horror he realized he was caught between the _Shangri-la _and the ship firing the weapon. If the attack missed him, it would surely strike the Mu ship. He wasn't sure if the battered shields would be able to withstand a direct hit.

But he had no time to think as the beam came shooting down. He flung up his hands and raised a psionic shield to block the attack, but his reaction came too late and the shield was not fully formed. Realizing his defense wouldn't hold, Jomy instinctively flung himself aside, barely avoiding being hit.

Then he looked down and saw the ray of energy slam against the _Shangri-la'_s defenses. A large, green shield enveloped the ship and flickered once, twice, then vanished completely. The ship was unprotected now, and the smaller attacks from the other ships slammed straight into its hull, blossoming brightly against the black sky.

Terrified that his failure to block the attack had cost him the battle—or even the war—Jomy whirled back around to face the Human fleet. _All weapons! _he cried out telepathically so those on the _Shangri-la_ could hear him. _Fire on my mark!_ He gritted his teeth and bundled the fear and anger inside him tightly, transforming it into a desire to protect the ship, to protect Soldier Blue, to protect everyone. Through sheer force of will, he turned that desire into a glaring, blue-white beam of energy to hurl at the enemy. _NOW! _he shouted as he fired his desperate attack.

With the full firepower of the _Shangri-la_ joining the Soldier's attack, the Human fleet was completely annihilated.

Breathing heavily, Jomy watched the wreckage of the trader ships drifting around him in space. A cold, leaden feeling settled over him. It was self-defense, he knew, but he had still wiped out an entire commercial convoy. The voices of the dying minds around him echoed in his ears, no matter how hard he tried not to hear them.

Slowly he made his way back to the _Shangri-la_. He could see that the victory came at a cost—jagged holes and charred black patches marred the white hull of the slender ship. And sure enough, not only did the stealth device still refuse to function, but the warp drive had also been damaged. The Mu were sitting ducks now, unable to escape the battlefield by either stealth or speed.

And now the Humans surely knew the ship's whereabouts.

Jomy's heart was heavy, but he knew there was nothing he could do but keep fighting.

oooooooo

After that battle, the _Shangri-la_ faced new attacks on an almost daily basis. It was all the Mu could do to survive; how they would ever fight their way to a safe haven where they could repair their ship, Jomy did not know.

Which is why he had come here, to the Blue Room, to sit at the bedside of the master of overcoming hopeless odds.

Sitting on the cold, marble floor, Jomy leaned his head back against the frame of Soldier Blue's bed and sighed. "Soldier Blue, what should we do? What would you do?"

He received no response; he did not really expect one anymore. Blue, although initially responsive even though his body was at its limit, had finally fallen into a full coma a few months ago. But even so, Jomy always retreated to Blue's bedside each night to talk to him and seek his guidance. Even if Blue could not speak to him anymore, his presence still helped, and Blue's room was one of the few places where Jomy knew he could be completely alone with his thoughts. Few would dare to follow him in here.

Soldier Blue's hall was a beautiful space, with its hues of deepest blue and velvet black illuminated only by a few cool, dim lamps. The darkness of the vast room called to mind the depths of space, the sea of emptiness the Mu traversed as they tried to sneak between the stars to Terra, the only place they might call home.

But so many lives had been lost in the void of space, and no matter what Jomy did, he knew many more would die.

A part of him hoped that if he needed Blue badly enough, if the Mu needed his strength badly enough, Blue would come back to them. Blue had been the type of leader Jomy felt he could never become. Even though Soldier Blue had shared with him glimpses of his 300 years of memories, Jomy still felt distinctly unqualified to be Blue's successor. If Blue would wake up, the old Soldier could retake his rightful place as leader of the Mu. Or at the very least, he would be able to share his wisdom directly with Jomy. Blue always seemed to know what to do.

Realizing his thoughts were going only circles this evening, Jomy rose his feet and turned back to look down at the sleeping man. "Blue," he murmured, caressing the sleeping Soldier's cheek with a gloved hand. "Won't you wake up for me?"

Blue remained silent. More than anything, Jomy feared silence would be all he would ever get from the Soldier. He missed the sound of the Soldier's low voice—Blue had always had a word of comfort or advice for him, no matter what foolish things Jomy had said to him. Jomy longed to bask in the warm glow of Blue's ruby eyes, to see the quirk of his mouth as he listened to Jomy's chattering, to be enveloped by the aura of endless patience the old Mu had worn as elegantly as his regal cape.

"I won't let you die," whispered Jomy. He leaned down until his face was close to Blue's. "No matter what happens to me, I won't let you die." Then he brought his lips to Soldier Blue's mouth to give him the kiss of life.

A warm, tingling sensation ran up Jomy's spine as he summoned his energy and transferred it directly to Blue. He did not need a doctor to tell him this technique was effective; he could feel the energy flow out of him and into the old man's debilitated body. Jomy's energy poured through Blue's veins, raising his pulse, increasing his oxygen intake, feeding his starving cells, and speeding the repair of his old, painful wounds.

_Please live, Soldier Blue, _he begged telepathically.

He hoped that somehow, Blue would sense all the emotions in Jomy's heart and hear his plea. Jomy wanted Blue to know that he was not alone even in his sleep and to remember all the reasons why he needed to wake up.

_Please live. _That had been Jomy's wish even as Soldier Blue fell from the sky above Ataraxia, even as Jomy caught him and held him close for their fiery re-entry into the atmosphere. It was still his wish, even now that Jomy had grown into the uniform Blue had chosen for him.

Jomy pulled back and straightened up. He raised a hand to his head, feeling slightly dizzy from the loss of energy, but the sensation faded quickly. He was used to this by now. He had been doing the same thing to Blue, every night, for years. No one knew he did this—no one except his aide, Leo, who had once stumbled in upon Jomy's nightly ritual in Blue's room. But Leo had served Blue personally before being assigned to Jomy. Jomy knew he could trust him to keep his secret.

He looked down at Blue again, to see if his condition had changed at all. But Soldier Blue lay still and silent, as always.

"Goodnight, Blue," said Jomy softly, running a hand over Blue's silver locks. "I'll be back tomorrow." He vowed to come back, night after night, until Soldier Blue woke up again.

But for now, he knew he would find no more comfort in Blue's presence; Jomy wanted to be among the living.

oooooooo

Walking down the corridor leading away from the Blue Room back to the main residential block, Jomy nearly called for Leo to meet him, as he usually did after leaving Blue's bed. It was something Leo insisted upon, presumably to make sure Jomy wasn't draining himself too much by taking care of Blue. Jomy always felt completely back to normal by the time Leo arrived in the Soldier's quarters and Leo generally didn't even ask him about his time with Blue anymore.

Suddenly Jomy remembered that his loyal aide had no time for him right now. The sudden increase in fighting and the continued perilous state of the _Shangri-la_ meant that pilots like Leo were desperately needed to fly defensive patrols and to be ready to sortie at a moment's notice. Given the dire need for all those willing to fight on the front lines, the captain had forced Leo to step down from his position as Soldier Shin's personal aide. Instead, Leo would focus his time and energy on more important things—like training new pilots and protecting the ship from destruction.

Captain Harley had silenced Leo's initial protests with merely a raised hand. The crew worked in shifts, but there were never enough people to be on a given watch. The number of crew members who volunteered to become pilots had always been especially low, and those that did serve in the fighter squadrons often did double duty in the Weapons or Defense Sections, which meant that the crew was stretched quite thin when the klaxon sounded for battle, the shortage in manpower became even more pronounced. In response, Captain Harley had promoted several young Mu to the ranks of the adults and issued a call for volunteers to begin flight training, but it was hard to convince the peaceful Mu to go to war. So Leo and his pilot colleagues were very busy.

Jomy agreed with the captain's decision, but it was still strange not to have Leo around. Jomy had grown accustomed to seeing his friend on a daily basis. They often ate their meals together and usually met once or twice a day to discuss what was happening on the ship and to make sure Jomy was doing everything required of him as Soldier. In Leo's absence, Captain Harley had more or less taken up that role, but it simply wasn't the same. For one thing, the captain rarely ate in the mess hall and instead seemed to subsist entirely on protein bars he could eat in his seat on the bridge. And Harley did not have quite the same patience with Jomy that Leo did.

For the first time since coming back to the _Shangri-la_, Jomy felt completely alone, with neither Blue nor Leo to help him.

Sighing, Jomy wondered who else he could turn to for company right now. It was far too late at night to drop in unannounced on Physis. He suspected Harley, at least, would be awake. He was probably sitting in the captain's chair on the bridge, chatting with Cid, the helmsman, while they waited for the next attack.

There would always be another attack. Jomy was certain of that much.

_Jomy!_

The high-pitched telepathic call startled him. He stopped in his tracks and looked back down the hall to see the weeping mouse trotting towards him.

"You," he said, smiling in spite of himself. He crouched down, and the blue-furred, fox-like creature jumped into his arms. It scrambled up to his shoulder, where it assumed its customary perch.

_Jomy, lonely? _cooed the telepathic animal as Jomy rose to his feet and continued walking towards his quarters.

"Ah, well, just a little," admitted Jomy with a sheepish laugh. "But now you're here."

_Always here, Jomy._

"Haha, thank you."

They entered Jomy's room, and the weeping mouse leaped from Jomy's shoulder to his bed, where it scurried around in a circle before curling up on the comforter.

Jomy pulled off his gloves, tossing them carelessly onto a chair. He unfastened his cape and draped it over the back of the chair, then sat down on the foot of the bed to tug off his boots and squirm out of his jacket.

_Sleepy? _inquired the mouse.

"Yeah." He toppled backwards onto the bed and sighed again, staring up at the ceiling. It was white and blank—which was pretty much how he felt right now.

Suddenly the weeping mouse's yellow eyes and pointy snout appeared in front of him. It placed its paws on his chest and peered into his face. _Sad?_

Jomy reached up to pat its head. "You're too perceptive, you know."

_Why sad?_

"Because everything feels completely out of my control, and I can't figure out how to change that," he sighed.

_You can do it._

He laughed. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

He rolled onto his side, prompting the animal to scurry out of his way, but then it circled back around and thrust its head beneath Jomy's hand, like a cat wanting to be petted. Jomy stroked its back idly, thinking. It seemed like his mind always turned to Blue.

Blue had shown him some of his own memories and shared the collective past of the Mu with Jomy. Sometimes those memories came to Jomy's mind as vividly as if they had been part of his own life. So he knew that Blue, too, had felt helpless and convinced that everything that happened was his fault. And Blue, too, had learned to carry the terrible burden of lives lost seemingly for nothing.

The title of "Soldier" was more than just an impressive honorific: it was a deadly obligation. Jomy had killed many people to protect the Mu. His victims were Human, just like his parents, his old friends, his teachers, his classmates. For all he knew, the people who died at his hand were his actual biological brothers and sisters.

But many Mu had been lost as well. The crew of the _Shangri-la_ no longer had the freedom to find and rescue young Mu from any Human settlements. Such operations posed too great a risk right now, when every planet, space station, and outpost was on high alert for the return of the Mu. But without the _Shangri-la_ to come to their aid, the innocent Mu born in those places would almost certainly be found, tortured, and killed by the government.

Jomy closed his eyes, but he could not escape the mental image—from Blue's memories—of Altamira burning all around him as Mu and Human alike lay dying. Universal Control had attempted to eradicate all Mu once before, using the most ruthless means available.

Jomy shuddered at the thought that he might fail, making all of the sacrifices up to now completely meaningless.

He pulled the weeping mouse closer, hugging it like a stuffed animal. It squirmed a little, but did not protest otherwise. "I don't want anyone else to die," he murmured.

_I won't die._

"I sure hope not."

The animal's warm nose poked his face. _Jomy protects me. Jomy protects everyone!_

Something tightened in Jomy's chest. He had to protect the people who relied on him. He could not afford to worry about the deaths on the other side, nor the deaths of the Mu elsewhere. He had to keep running, staying always a step ahead of the Humans, so that when he had to fight again, he would win. He would do what was necessary to survive from one moment to the next, without ceasing his fervent prayer for a lasting peace.

That was exactly what Blue had done—for three hundred years.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The first moment outside the ship always unnerved Leo, even though he had gone into space in a fighter countless times before. He flew away from the _Shangri-la_'s launch bay and passed through the flickering green psionic shield encasing the ship, accelerating into the blackness of space where death was always but an instant away.

A battle was raging.

Leo was, at heart, a peaceful soul. More than anything, he wanted to end each battle as soon as possible. Huge orange explosions blossomed silently around him, and Leo could hear the fleeting thoughts of the dying. For a moment, their fear and sadness threatened to paralyze him, but then his training took over and he focused entirely on his mission: defending the _Shangri-la_ at all costs.

Sometimes a bright streak of blue would cut across Leo's field of vision. A trail of explosions inevitably followed behind it. It was Soldier Shin, fighting alongside the fighter squadron on the front lines with nothing but his own power to protect him.

The sight of the Soldier soaring by gave Leo courage, but it filled him with fear as well. He did not want Jomy put himself in such grave danger. Besides, it was the pilots' job was to guard the ship—if the Soldier had to come to their aid, it meant that they were not good enough to fight on their own yet. This fact went unspoken among the pilots, but Leo could feel the tension whenever they gathered in the hangar. Always, someone suggested a new tweak to their spacecraft; always, someone would think of a new maneuver to test. They pushed themselves and their machines to their limits for different reasons—some for pride, some out of fear—but they were all in silent agreement that they wanted to prove themselves to the Soldier. Jomy's actions had inspired at least that much loyalty in the pilots.

But the endless days of fighting took their toll on the fighter squadrons. They were on call day and night, scrambling at a moment's notice to fight off the enemy. When they weren't fighting, they were training, patrolling, talking to the mechanics, or on duty in another section. They were lucky if they could snatch more than a few hours of sleep every 36 hours. Leo had spent years working as a covert agent in Ataraxia, but even the stress of living among the Humans did not compare to horror—and exhaustion—of the ongoing war.

At least they were still winning—if surviving to fight the next day could be described as winning. The victories did not come without casualties, though. There was always another memorial service to honor the fallen, and Leo attended the services whenever he could. He wanted to remember each name, each face. Too often, they were friends of his. When he was weary to the bone, he called them to mind and reminded himself that even his exhaustion was a blessing, because it meant he was still alive.

The Soldier, too, attended the memorial services. He usually spoke after Captain Harley, offering his ineloquent but heartfelt words of consolation. He did not—could not—conceal his grief from the crew. Leo knew that the deaths on both sides were a heavy burden on Jomy, but slowly, over the weeks and months, he thought he detected a growing undercurrent of determination beneath the Soldier's evident sadness and frustration.

Leo wasn't the only one who noticed the change. Even the Mu who had shunned Jomy as an imposter or even derided him as the would-be murderer of Soldier Blue now viewed him with a begrudging respect and a secret gratitude. It became clear to all that their new Soldier wanted to protect them, even more than he wanted to protect himself.

Leo did not want to fight. None of them wanted to fight. But when Leo soared through space in his fighter and the adrenaline rushed through him, the battle cry in his heart was always one word: _Soldier._

oooooooo

Climbing out of his fighter one day after yet another skirmish, Leo noticed Jomy waiting in the spacecraft hangar. Leo smiled a little in spite of himself; he had wondered when the Soldier would make his rounds here. For the past two weeks, there had been rumors that Soldier Shin was showing up unannounced in various parts of the ship to offer his encouragement to the crew.

Every limb trembled from adrenaline and exhaustion, but Leo carefully made his way towards the group that had gathered around Jomy.

"We made it without even a scratch this time, thanks to you all!" Jomy was saying. There was a chorus of cheers and whistles. "I don't know what I'd do without you all out there!"

Leo's smile broadened as he watched his fellow pilots. They clamored for Jomy's attention, seeking his encouragement and praise, and he gave it to them willingly, patting shoulders and slapping backs, laughing and listening to their war stories. Leo lingered at the edge of the group, content just to observe Jomy from a distance. So much had changed since Leo had brought this boy to the _Shangri-la_, but not even these dark, violent times could erase Jomy's bright smile or the glint in his green eyes.

Jomy looked up and caught Leo's gaze over the heads of the other pilots. There was a strength in Jomy's face that transfixed Leo—it reminded him of Blue.

_Soldier_, he said, and the word filled him with awe and pride.

_Leo, _Jomy responded, so only Leo could hear. _ You're okay._ A smile of relief flickered across Jomy's face before he turned his attention back to the excited pilots gathered around him.

Leo watched the group a little longer, then quietly slipped away to return to his quarters. He needed a shower and a few hours of sleep, if he could get them.

But he couldn't stop smiling to himself. He was pleased to see that Jomy was alright, even without Leo by his side.

oooooooo

At long last, the number of battles decreased, then stopped altogether. Somehow the Mu had escaped Human territory again, though no one knew what other dangers lay ahead. And no matter where they went, the Elders groaned that Terra was still unbearably far away.

But Leo cared not for where they were going; he was just glad that the fighting was over for now. For the first time in months, he could take a few days off to rest.

He slept for almost two solid days, then awoke feeling hungry and disoriented. In his dreams, he had been flying again—in space, then over Ataraxia, and strangely enough, on Terra.

He sat up in bed and pondered his surroundings for a moment, trying to get his bearings. He was in his room. The bare white walls, the small table with two chairs, the straggly potted fern clinging to life on his shelf—these were all his. This was home.

He stretched his arms over his head, making stiff joints pop, then climbed out of bed. He pondered briefly whether he should go find food first and then shower, or shower and then eat—but then he decided what he needed most of all was a cup of coffee. He walked across the room and dug around in his small cupboard until he found a mostly empty container of instant coffee. He opened it, sniffed it, and then set about making the drink in his favorite yellow mug.

While he waited for the hot coffee to cool down to a not-so-scalding temperature, Leo called up a computer display in the air before him. He found several messages blinking insistently at him. One gave him his new orders: he was to be the lead instructor for the incoming class of pilot candidates. He raised his eyebrows, surprised. It would be nice to teach full-time for a change, though. He was sick of war and would gladly help train the next generation of Mu instead of fighting for life and death on a daily basis.

He quickly skimmed over the other messages that had arrived while he was asleep, but then a note from the captain caught his eye. He opened it and found that he had also been asked to return to his duties as personal aide to the Soldier. His reinstatement had come at the Soldier's own request.

At the bottom, the captain had written: _It is with great relief that I release him back into your care, Leo. I don't know how you put up with him every day._

Leo reached for his mug and took a sip of coffee, then set it back down on the countertop. He felt warm. He felt happy. A smile spread slowly across Leo's lips.

Attending to Jomy was a task Leo would gladly take on again.

oooooooo

When Leo finally contacted Jomy to ask when they should meet up, the Soldier nearly shouted at him with excitement. _We're about to enter orbit around a new planet! Come and watch in my room!_

_Shouldn't you be on the bridge, Soldier? _asked Leo, wincing at the volume of Jomy's telepathy.

There was a pause. _No, why? My room's more comfortable._

Leo decided not to press the matter. He had hoped that in his absence, Captain Harley had managed to cure Jomy of his reluctance to set foot on the bridge, but apparently the captain had not been successful, either. Jomy remained as stubborn as ever.

But even that pleased Leo. Jomy was forever Jomy.

When he reached the Soldier's room, the doors opened before him—Jomy had sensed his arrival before Leo could ring the door chime. The Soldier was on his feet and running towards Leo before he could even take one step into the room.

"Leo! You're back!" He threw his arms around Leo in delight.

_It's been a while, Soldier. _He patted Jomy's head and hugged him back. _You've grown taller, _he observed, more thrilled by Jomy's exuberant welcome than he wanted to admit.

Jomy pulled away and looked up at Leo. "Have I?"

Leo nodded. They gazed at each other for a moment, but then Jomy suddenly seemed to remember what he had been doing before Leo arrived. "C'mon," he said, tugging Leo over to the bed so they could sit down in front of the giant computer display floating in the air. "There should be data from the planetary scan any minute now!"

Leo sat down. In front of him was a map of a solar system with eight planets orbiting a small, yellow star. It had been a long time since the ship had dared approach even this close to a habitable-looking system, but now that they were beyond Human space, they could take the risk again. Perhaps the Mu could hide in the shadow of one of these worlds long enough to make repairs, to regroup, and to recover from the fatigue of war. That would be the most they could wish for at this point.

But there was also the slightest possibility that they would stumble upon Terra itself. No one knew where the planet could be, so every yellow star raised the hopes of the Mu.

Slowly the image of the planets materialized on the screen. Leo waited with bated breath to hear if perhaps this unfamiliar system contained that lost blue planet, though he knew it was unlikely.

Suddenly the screen came alive with a flood of incoming data. Leo blinked, trying to process it all. At the very least, it was clear that none of the eight planets had any sign of sentient life, Human or otherwise.

_I am sad to say that this system is not the Solar System, _Captain Harley announced, his voice booming over the intercom. _Terra is not to be found here. However, we will enter orbit around the seventh planet in one hour. Please feel free to observe from the viewing decks. Thank you._

The result was to be expected, but still Leo felt disappointed. He turned to see how the Soldier would react.

"Damn." The computer display vanished into thin air.

_Don't you want to watch anymore?_

Jomy sighed and stood up again. He walked towards the window overlooking the park. Standing silhouetted in the artificial sunlight, he crossed his arms and muttered, "We still don't have the faintest clue where Terra is."

Leo blinked against the light and noticed again just how much Jomy had grown in these past months. It wasn't just his height. The set of his shoulders was more determined than before, and he held his head higher. The scarlet cape draped around him seemed to fit him better. For the first time, Leo could see the confidence of a commander in the way Jomy carried himself now.

_We will keep looking, _said Leo.

"Yeah, I know. And with any luck, we'll be able to stay here long enough to fix up this old ship. That's the most important thing right now, I guess."

Leo gazed at him for a moment, then said, _You have grown up a lot. _

Jomy turned around. "Leo?"

Leo rose to join him at the window. He placed a hand on Jomy's left shoulder. _Soldier Blue would be proud of you if he were awake to see you right now. _He knew it was Blue's dream that Jomy thought of; it was for Blue that Jomy wanted to find Terra.

Jomy turned his gaze back to the grassy park stretching out far below them. "Leo," he asked quietly, "Are you proud of me?"

The question caught him off guard. _Of course I am. I have always been proud to call you 'Soldier.'_

Jomy smiled a little. "I still prefer it when you call me 'Jomy', you know. All I hear these days is 'Soldier this' and 'Soldier that.'"

_You may be our Soldier,_ _but you are still Jomy, _Leo assured him._ Always. _His thoughts went back to the first time he had seen Jomy, when he was but an infant. Over the years, Leo had gone to Ataraxia dozens of times—at Soldier Blue's command—to observe in secret the apparently ordinary boy that Blue claimed would become their next great leader. How long ago that seemed!

Jomy turned to look Leo. "What was that, just now?" He furrowed his brows. "You… watched me?"

Leo was startled. He had not meant to share his thoughts. _We stopped doing this after you arrived, but it was standard operating procedure to monitor children thought to be Mu_, he explained, trying to hide his embarrassment at being caught with his thoughts exposed. He clearly wasn't used to the Soldier's extraordinary telepathy anymore.

"Even me? Wait, how long did you guys observe me?"

_From the moment you were born, _he admitted._ When Soldier Blue discovered you, he kept your existence a secret from the Rescue Section for a long time, but eventually he had me go out and check on you every so often. Stealthily, of course._

"Leo—"

_Forgive me for not telling you sooner, but I thought he might have told you._

"Leo!" Suddenly Jomy's hands were touching Leo's face, insistently pulling him down until they stood eye-to-eye. "Can you show me more of your memories of that time?"

_I—I can try?_

"Do it!"

A little taken aback by the demand, Leo shut his eyes and obediently opened his mind. He felt Jomy's warm fingers against his face; his telepathy flowed through them into Leo. The presence of such a powerful second mind in Leo's head brought a stab of pain to his temples.

_Ah, Soldier, please stay calm!_ Leo begged, wincing. _I will show you all that I remember._

And so he did.

There was Jomy, giggling as he played with a stuffed toy giraffe. Jomy, precariously leaning against his father's legs but somehow standing on his own two feet. Jomy, riding high on his father's shoulders at the beach. Jomy, running away from his mother to avoid taking a bath. Jomy, eating a hot dog with ketchup all over his face. Jomy, crying after skinning his knee on the sidewalk. Jomy, covered in mud and gleefully ignoring his teacher's commands to come in out of the rain. Jomy, kicking a soccer ball in the front yard and accidentally hitting a passing car's windshield. Jomy, laughing with his friends. Jomy, happy with his parents.

And then there was Jomy, leaving home to take that fateful bus to the amusement park on his fourteenth birthday.

Here Leo stopped the flow of memories into Jomy's mind and carefully extricated himself from Jomy's grip. He opened his eyes to find Jomy staring at him with tears in his eyes.

_Soldier?_

Jomy blinked. "Oh God, Leo!" he said, staggering a step back and scrubbing at his eyes with the palms of his hands.

_Are you alright?_

"Yeah, but I—" He cleared his throat. "I'd forgotten how intense these kinds of shared memories can be." He wiped a hand across his nose and sat down on the low windowsill.

_I apologize if I did too much._

Jomy looked up at him and gave him a shaky smile. "No, I'm grateful. It just seemed so real, like I was back there. Like they were right here beside me." He turned his gaze back to the window.

Leo couldn't help but worry that he had stirred up some emotional turmoil best left untouched.

"I can't believe you saw all that. Did Blue really send you to check on me that much?"

_Yes. He always wanted to know how you were doing, how much you'd grown, what your favorite toy was, whether you were eating well…_

Jomy laughed, and the sound eased Leo's mind a little. "What was he thinking? You all are a bunch of creeps, spying on little kids like that!"

_Perhaps. _He smiled. _But he thought of you as someone special from the very beginning._

Jomy's face reddened slightly. "And you?" he asked after a moment, glancing back at Leo. "What did you think?"

_I thought you were a bright and energetic child._

"Hah. I was a brat, and you know it."

Leo laughed softly, but he felt a pang in his heart as he recalled those distant days on the faraway planet that had been their home. Back then, he had envied Jomy's happy family life, yet now he wished he could give even half the joy of that time back to Jomy.

Staying seated, Jomy put one foot up on the windowsill and leaned his back against the wall. He gazed thoughtfully out the window. The sunlight played across his golden hair and lit up his emerald eyes until they glowed as brightly as the ruby red jewel fastened at his throat.

Leo thought he looked beautiful, sitting there like that.

"Leo."

_Yes?_

"Do you think Mom and Dad would be proud if they saw me like this?"

_Without a doubt, Soldier. Without a doubt._


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Shortly after the _Shangri-la_ entered orbit around the seventh planet of the isolated star system, the Council of Elders convened to discuss their next plan. Jomy attended the meeting with great reluctance. These Council meetings held at Blue's bedside were painful reminders that the Elders sought Blue's guidance, not his.

Still, he went. He knew by now that if he failed to make an appearance, his standing as Soldier would only be eroded further. He had learned at least that much about politics. But that didn't mean he had to participate in every single boring debate. He could still let the Elders fight things out amongst themselves first.

"So we'll try to stay here long enough to restock our supplies and complete our repairs," Harley summarized as the meeting drew to an end. "No more than two weeks."

"I still say there's no way we can finish fixing the reactors that quickly!" insisted Zel, the ship's balding chief engineer. "Four weeks, minimum!"

"The Humans could be closing in on us as we speak," responded Brau, the chief navigation officer. "We can't dawdle here too long!"

"It's no good if we rush the repairs and make mistakes, either!" countered Zel, shooting Brau a glare. "Do you want the whole ship could blow up?"

"Your engineers are that incompetent, Zel?" she retorted, smirking slightly.

"We'll all be dead if the Humans catch us before we fix the engine, whether it's in two weeks or four," observed the chief medical officer dryly. "So why risk an engineering mishap?"

"At any rate, we will all do the best we can to get the job done as soon as possible," said the captain. "I'm counting on you and your people, Zel."

Zel crossed his arms and shook his head, muttering to himself with evident displeasure.

"Anything else?" asked Harley, looking around at the circle of Elders gathered around Soldier Blue's bed.

"Um," said Jomy when no one else spoke up. "What about me? Is there anything I should be doing since there's no one for me blow up right now?" The Elders all turned their eyes on him and he realized that perhaps his choice of words was not the best, given the fear of engine explosions. He gave the Elders an innocent smile, but the tension in the room rose tangibly.

"The Soldier's job is much more than just 'blowing things up,'" sighed Ella, the ship's historian. "Soldier Blue would not—"

"Soldier Blue caused quite a few explosions in his youth, too," cut in Brau. "We wouldn't be here without them." She grinned.

Jomy swallowed, trying to hide his unease. "And nowadays I only blow up things when absolutely necessary to protect this ship and everyone on it," he said, keeping his voice as blasé as possible. He knew some of the Elders still viewed him as nothing but a reckless child, but he was the only active Type Blue Mu they had right now, whether they liked it or not.

Harley cleared his throat. "Soldier, I would urge you to resume your studies now that we are in relatively peaceful space again."

"What? But I finished the high school curriculum already!" cried Jomy in dismay before he could stop himself.

Harley turned to Professor Hillman. "Is that true?"

Hillman nodded. "The past few months I've only had him do a few directed readings. Otherwise, he's learned everything we usually teach, and more." He glanced around the circle of Elders. "His grades have been more than satisfactory," he added, and Jomy silently rejoiced to see the old professor rise to his defense.

"Well, there must be something he hasn't studied yet," mused Ella.

"I want to learn something more practical," Jomy cut in, lest they saddle him with some new boring assignment. "I want to learn things that will help me protect the ship better." He paused and surveyed the Council. "We know the Humans will find us again, and they will be stronger than before." He did not need to say that he was their best weapon—they knew it.

Harley gazed at him thoughtfully. "If you are so inclined, may I suggest a particular training regimen?"

Jomy perked up. "Oh? What is it?"

"A training course based on the test officers have to pass if they want to work on the bridge. It incorporates physical, psionic, and leadership skills, but will modified for your specific needs, of course, Soldier."

"Who'll be the instructor?"

The captain smiled. "I will."

oooooooo

"So then Harley finally got everyone to shut up about my stupid schoolwork, and the professor said I didn't have to do anymore reading for him," said Jomy, describing the rest of the Council meeting to Leo while they walked back to their quarters from the mess hall. "Ella seemed grumpy about that, and Zel pretty much implied that I'm an idiot no matter how much I study. But to hell with them—I finished my schooling! What more do they want from me?"

_You are the Soldier. They only want the best for you._

Jomy snorted.

_You will learn much from the captain, though._

"Do you have any idea what's involved in this bridge officer training thing he mentioned?"

_You would have to ask someone who is a bridge officer, _replied Leo pleasantly.

Jomy raised his eyebrows. "You're not a bridge officer?"

_No. _

"Why?"

_My abilities are required elsewhere._

Jomy wondered what that was supposed to mean. "You worked directly under Blue, didn't you? And now you're working with me, at least some of the time. Why can't you get promoted to the bridge if you're always with a Soldier?"

_Because I'd rather keep flying and teaching._

Jomy suspected that there was more to this story than Leo would let on. "But—"

_You will learn a lot from Captain Harley, I'm sure, _continued Leo, steering the conversation back to its original topic. Jomy knew that there was no pressing him on the topic of bridge duty for now. _I've played basketball with the captain on occasion. He is not to be underestimated, physically or mentally._

Jomy looked at him askance. "He plays basketball? You're kidding, right?"

Leo merely smiled back at him._ He doesn't play it as much anymore, but he was quite good. He captained the team that won the ship-wide low-G basketball championship sixteen years in a row._

"There's a championship?"

_Yes. Or rather, there was._

Jomy frowned. "How come no one told me?"

_Probably because no one has had much time to play since you arrived, Soldier._

A flash of guilt hit Jomy. "I see," he muttered sheepishly. Years later, there was still much he didn't know about the history of the Mu and what life had been like on the _Shangri-la_ before his dramatic arrival, before the incapacitation of the first Soldier.

_I hope you'll do your best during training with the captain, _suggested Leo._ Your abilities are needed everywhere, after all._

"Ah. Yeah. I know." Jomy looked down. "I know," he whispered to himself, and thought of Blue.

oooooooo

Jomy went off to his first new lesson with Captain Harley with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity—but he came back full of anger. He wanted to complain to Leo, but Leo was busy teaching a class to the fledgling pilots, so Jomy stormed off to find the only other calming person he could trust to listen to him vent: the blind seer Physis.

"So I get there, thinking maybe we'll spend an hour or two sparring, or discussing combat techniques, or something at least remotely interesting," ranted Jomy, sitting across from Physis at her tarot table in the ship's vast planetarium. "But then he tells me to sit down at this—this is the best part!—this little table with a checker board on it and these tiny little black and white figurines set up on top of the board. I ask him what's going on, and he gives me that look of his and announces that the first lesson will be about learning how to formulate a successful strategy of attack and defense—by playing chess!" He crossed his arms and shook his head, still irritated. "I mean, what the heck does that have to do with my training? You can't tell me he seriously puts every member of the bridge crew through that!"

Physis calmly stroked the back of the weeping mouse that lay dozing in her lap. "Chess probably has more to teach you than you think, Jomy," said Physis. "It is a classical game of strategy that has been played throughout the ages."

Jomy glowered at her and muttered, "Everyone's on Harley's side." He knew he was being petulant, but somehow he couldn't help it. He had expected something more exciting from this so-called training. Board games were for children. The Elders were mocking him yet again.

"You shouldn't complain so much, though."

Something about Physis's tone of voice caught Jomy's attention. "What do you mean?"

"You are watched closely; your words are heard by all." Her expression was still calm and pleasant, but her voice was firmer than usual.

"You're telling me I'm complaining too much about something that isn't really a big deal," he acknowledged flatly.

"Even though you may not agree with them, the Elders do have your best interests in mind," she explained. "Especially Captain Harley. He cares about you very much."

Jomy fell silent. It was true that Harley was one of the few Elders who generally supported him. He sighed. "I just don't like how they treat me like a kid half the time and then expect me to be the perfect Soldier the rest of the time!"

"Then perhaps you should not let childish impulses get the best of you," Physis suggested, her gentle smile softening her words.

Jomy opened his mouth to retort, but then shut it again as the impact of Physis's words hit him. He stared at her for a moment. There she sat, still petting the weeping mouse calmly. Jomy wondered how she could always deliver her harshest rebukes with such grace. He felt duly chided, but the reprimand didn't sting his pride as much as it would have had it come from the mouth of almost anyone else on the ship. Physis was firm but gentle, in her own way. "You sound like Leo," Jomy blurted out.

Physis smiled, and the rebuke seemed forgotten. "How is he? Are you two still getting along well?"

Happy to change the subject, Jomy nodded. "Did you know he plays basketball? With the captain, even? I didn't think either of them was really the type! But apparently no one plays basketball anymore. Or soccer. Maybe if we have the time—if things are peaceful enough for a while—I could drum together enough people to hold a proper soccer match. Don't you think that'd be a good idea? It'd be more productive than playing chess, I'll tell you! I'm thinking about dragging Leo to the park one of these days to kick a ball around for a bit and see how he does, and then maybe we can build on that to revive the sport. People would come if they saw—"

Physis raised a hand to her lips and laughed softly.

"What?"

"It's just that you seem to be having much more fun now that Leo's back by your side," she said with a smile. "I can sense that your mood has changed completely just by talking about him. You are overflowing with new ideas."

Feeling a bit nettled, Jomy narrowed his brows. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing at all." Again she gave him that calm smile of hers and reached out to touch his hand lightly. "I know how much the war has weighed on your mind. If there is someone who can ease the pain of those distressing memories, then I hope you will keep that person close to your side and treasure them."

Memories of battles—of terror and loss and guilt—flashed to Jomy's mind. But when he thought of more recent days when he and Leo had time for each other again, those memories of war seemed like nothing more than remnants of an old nightmare. They were fading away and losing their power over him with each passing moment. The realization brought a small smile to his lips. "Well, of course I'm happier now—Leo is my best friend on the whole ship!"

"He was your first true friend here, too, wasn't he?"

_No! I was first!_ The weeping mouse in Physis's lap had awoken from its nap just in time to protest its status as Jomy's most loyal follower. It leapt up onto the table and bounded over to Jomy. _I was first! _it repeated, peering at him with its beady yellow eyes.

Jomy laughed and scooped the animal into his arms. "Yeah, of course you were. How could I forget!" He stroked its head as he held it close to his chest.

"You are blessed with many friends," observed Physis.

"Haha, well, maybe. I count you among them, Physis."

Physis granted him a gentle laugh. "I am honored. But I suspect Leo is…different."

Jomy suddenly felt his face redden, though he wasn't sure why. He looked down at the weeping mouse in his arms. "Well, he is Leo, after all."

"Indeed."

oooooooo

In the evening, after his nightly visit to Blue's room, Jomy waited impatiently in his room for Leo's shift to end. He knew the man's schedule by heart, since he went over it with Leo each week as they planned the Soldier's own schedule. So Jomy lounged on his bed with the weeping mouse sleeping at his side and watched the clock tick away the minutes. Finally, with the slightest hesitation, he reached out for Leo's mind and asked: _Leo?_

_Yes, Soldier? _Leo's response was immediate, as usual. Jomy smiled to himself, pleased.

_D'you know how to play chess, by chance? _he wondered.

_Chess?_

_Yeah. Harley's trying to teach me how to play as part of that stupid training he's giving me, and I'm wondering if you have any advice so I can get that part over with as soon as possible._

There was a pause. _Ah, I'm sorry, Soldier, but I can't help you with that._

_Why not? If you hate chess, too, I totally understand that, but—_

_It's not that I hate it. It's just that I'm not very good at it._

_Oh, so you can play it! Just teach me what you know so I can impress Harley a bit and convince him to move on to something more interesting._

_I can't._

_Why?_

He thought he heard Leo sigh, even though that was unlikely over their telepathic link.

_Because I am terrible at chess,_ admitted Leo._ So terrible that I failed the captain's test for becoming part of the bridge crew._

Jomy sat up in his bed, startling the weeping mouse, who glared up at him for a moment before going back to sleep. _What? You took the bridge crew test? It actually does involve chess? Harley's not just messing with me?_

_Yes. Yes. And yes._

_And you really failed because of it? You mean there's actually something you're not good at?_

_There are many things I'm not good at. You just haven't found them all yet, Soldier._

Jomy fell back down onto his bed, barely avoiding squishing the weeping mouse's tail. _Oh, Leo, I'm sorry, _he said, trying very hard not to sound like he was amused at Leo's failure.

_Please don't worry about it. You should concentrate on learning how to play chess properly._

_Yeah, I guess. Though I wish Harley had picked something I'm already good at—like soccer._

_You could always ask him if he'll incorporate it into his lessons._

_Maybe I will!_

There was another pause, but then Leo asked, _Anything else you needed tonight, Soldier?_

_Oh. Nah. Sorry. I'll see you tomorrow morning for breakfast?_

_Yes._

_Good. _He was about to wish Leo a good night but then an idea struck him. _Hey, Leo?_

_Yes?_

_If I learn how to play chess from Harley and then teach you how to play, would you retake the bridge crew test? _

Leo's response was quick: _Only if you actually start going to the bridge the way a Soldier should._

Jomy frowned. Leo always knew how to turn any conversation around. But Jomy hated going to the bridge. There was always at least one of the Elders on duty—and most of them made clear that they thought that an inexperienced brat like Jomy had no place there, at the nerve center of the _Shangri-la_. There was slightly less antagonism when Harley was present, but that still wasn't enough to convince Jomy to go there willingly. He could fulfill his duties without ever going to the bridge, anyway, so he didn't see what the problem was.

_I'll go to the bridge only when you can guarantee that the Elders up there won't shout me down the moment they see my face, _replied Jomy.

_I'm afraid I can't help you with that, either, _said Leo.

Now Jomy sighed. _Well then, I guess both our talents are simply needed elsewhere!_ He caught a hint of amusement from Leo's mind at the echo of Leo's earlier words. That was just enough to cheer Jomy up a bit. They chatted a bit more about tomorrow's plans, but then Jomy knew he really should leave Leo alone for the night. Reluctantly, he brought the conversation to a close.

But Leo's telepathy was as warm and comforting as always when he said, _Good night, Soldier._

Curled up on his bed, Jomy smiled to himself. _Night, Leo._


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The _Shangri-la _remained in the isolated star system for just over two weeks—long enough to complete its repairs and to restock its depleted supplies of raw materials from the various moons and asteroids in the vicinity.

On the evening before the scheduled departure from the system, Leo went to the ship's lounge after dinner. Located on the upper deck of the ship, the lounge always commanded a marvelous view of the stars outside, but right now it offered a stunning vista of the cloudy, yellow-orange planet they were orbiting. Not surprisingly, the lounge was packed with people, as everyone wanted to take in the rare view of something other than the blackness of space or the drab corridors of the ship.

Leo spotted a familiar silver-haired man at the bar and made his way over to him. _Good evening, Cid. Have you been waiting long?_

Cid leaned against the counter with a small glass of dark brown liquor in his hand. "No, this is only my second drink," grinned the _Shangri-la_'s most talented helmsman. He downed the rest of his drink in a single gulp. "Aihara said he can't make it tonight, by the way, so it's just you and me. What'll you have?"

_Ah, the usual. _As he said it, he realized just how long it had been since he had come here. It wasn't "the usual" anymore.

Cid flagged down the bartender. "Two shots of your best vodka for me and my friend here," he ordered as Leo took a seat next to him.

"Right away," replied the bearded Elder behind the counter, readying two glasses and whipping out a bottle from beneath the counter. "This is the best I've got, but you know nothing's very good around here!" He guffawed loudly, then carefully filled the glasses with a faintly yellowish liquid.

Cid picked up his glass. "What's this?"

The bartender leaned over the bar and whispered, "I've been experimenting with a new variety. This one is based on an ancient recipe for a vodka infused with herbs. They drank this stuff long before anyone even dreamed of Superior Domination! It took me months fighting with the computer to make a decent one. You're the first customers to try it."

Leo took his drink in hand while Cid sniffed at his own glass.

"Hmm, interesting," Cid admitted. "Well, Leo?"

Leo smiled and raised his glass. It had long been their little tradition that whoever arrived last for their semi-regular meeting at the bar would propose a toast. Usually a few of their other friends would be here, too, but since tonight it would just be the two of them, it was now Leo's duty to toast to something.

He turned to look out at the giant orange orb slowly turning beyond the windows. It was an alien world, but it had provided them with a temporary hiding place to regroup and recover from the damage the Humans had done. After tonight, he would probably never see its strange, swirling clouds again.

He raised his glass. _To this planet and its system, for providing shelter in a storm._

Cid shifted so that he could look out the windows and lifted his glass as well. _And to Terra, that it may shelter us someday, after the storm._

They clinked their glasses together and then shot back their drinks. The alcohol burned its way down Leo's throat, but the refreshing taste of exotic herbs lingered pleasantly in his mouth. _This is very good, _he commented, turning back to the bartender and setting his empty glass down on the counter.

"Ah, well, I'm still working on it," mumbled the Elder, looking pleased.

"We'd be happy to sample your next batch anytime," Cid volunteered. The bartender chuckled and refilled both their glasses before wandering off to help another customer.

"It's been too long since we've had the time to do this," Cid said with a sigh.

Leo nodded. _How've you been?_

"Alright. You know. I just hope this quiet lasts a while longer."

_I hear Physis has suggested what appears to be the most peaceful route._

"Yeah, but peaceful relative to what?"

Leo pondered this while he sipped his drink, savoring the strange taste of the herbal infusion again.

"How's the Soldier?" asked Cid.

_Harley's teaching him chess now._

Cid raised his eyebrows. "Sounds like he's forcing him to go through that damn bridge crew test."

_That's more or less what he's doing, from what I can tell. _Leo smiled. _But he's also going to start sparring with the Soldier starting tomorrow to add some physical and psionic training to the mix._

Cid slammed his hand down on the bar. "So that's where the captain's been disappearing to! I'd been wondering about that lately."

Leo burst out laughing. _What? _Cid's statement made no sense to him.

"He's lost some weight, you know. I'll bet anything old Harley's been training in secret to prepare for his match with the Soldier! He keeps saying he's busy and running off after his shift, but no one could figure out what he was up to."

_You really think that's what he's doing?_

"His jacket fits him better now, so he must be getting more exercise. That's the only explanation."

_You sure pay close attention to him_, teased Leo.

Cid tugged at his uniform jacket. "Hey, it's your job to keep an eye on the Soldier, but it's the bridge crew's job to keep an eye on Captain Harley."

_I see._

Cid leaned in close to Leo and whispered, "Take a look at his stomach next time you see him, if you don't believe me."

Leo laughed.

They passed another amusing hour talking over drinks. Perhaps it was the alcohol or maybe it was just Cid's familiar, comforting presence, but Leo couldn't remember when he had last felt so relaxed.

_This is fun, Cid,_ he commented, feeling warm and happy.

Cid looked as if he were about to speak, but then he simply smiled wordlessly at Leo.

_I have to go soon, though, _Leo continued, suddenly realizing that it was almost time for Leo to meet Jomy, as they had decided earlier that day.

"Oh?"

_He's waiting for me, _said Leo, feeling the weight of his obligations settle over him again. He saw Cid's eyes narrowed suspiciously, so Leo hastily added, _The Soldier is, I mean. _

"I see." Cid looked away.

The relaxed feeling Leo had enjoyed until a minute ago vanished. He knew Cid well enough to recognize that flash of jealousy in his brown eyes. He reached out to touch Cid's hand. _Let's do this again sometime soon._

"Sure."

_I mean it. I'm glad I got to catch up with you._

Cid smiled a little. "Yeah. It was just like the old days, you and me."

Leo withdrew his hand. _Like the old days... _

The "old days" were taboo. They had an unspoken promise not to talk them, about that time long ago when he and Cid had met up far more frequently, when they had enjoyed many evenings here together, when they spent many more nights in each other's arms—when they had been very young and in love.

Leo wondered if he was reading too much into Cid's behavior. Maybe it was the alcohol, making him nostalgic. He was just happy to have Cid as a friend now. There had been a time after their break-up when even that had seemed impossible, but over the years, the bitterness and hurt had faded. Or at least Leo had stopped noticing it.

"Save up your drink rations for next time," suggested Cid as he picked up his half-empty shot glass. "I'll make sure to drag Aihara along, too."

Leo hesitated, debating with himself whether he should say something more, but then Cid spoke up again. "Go, now," he said, shooing Leo away with one hand as he raised the glass to his lips. "I'm sure he's already wondering where you are."

Leo's eyes lingered on his friend and former lover for a moment longer, but then he nodded. _Yeah. See you, Cid._

"See you."

oooooooo

The _Shangri-la_ left orbit the next day, as planned. With the ship repaired and the crew rested, the Mu made good progress, mapping the unknown space they passed through. The search for Terra never ended, and the flight from the Humans continued.

Leo and the other pilots trained rigorously, knowing that the next time they encountered the Humans, the fighting was sure to be even more intense than before. Leo also took his new duties flight instructor seriously. After spending a few hours training with his squadron, he then spent a few more hours teaching and running simulations with the class of future pilots. Paperwork and lesson plans took up another solid chunk of his time, and then he still had to tend to the Soldier and his demands. The additional time he devoted to Jomy didn't really feel like work, but Leo still appreciated the one day off he had each week—it was a day when even the Soldier didn't get to monopolize his attention.

Today was one of those days, so Leo decided to go to the park and read a book beneath the trees for a while. The park was his favorite place on the _Shangri-la_. Most of the time, the enormous windows to the outside were shaded and covered with a pale blue light to give the crew at least the suggestion of a blue sky. There, Leo could easily pretend that he was back on a planet with natural light and gravity, not stuck on a ship in outer space.

Today looked like it was going to be a wonderful, relaxing day.

On the way to the park, he noticed the captain coming down the hall. Leo passed him with a polite nod and resisted the urge to stare at his stomach as Cid had suggested.

He was nearly through the doors leading out the green expanse of the park when he heard the captain call his name. "Wait, Leo!"

Leo turned back. _Yes, Captain?_

Harley approached him. "You wouldn't know where Jom—er, the Soldier is, would you?"

Leo blinked up at the tall, imposing man. _Isn't he in the training room for your morning lesson?_

Harley ran a hand over his impeccably slicked back blond hair. "He wasn't there when I arrived. I waited for him, but he still hasn't come and he's not responding to my calls. To be frank, I have no idea where he could be."

Leo had thought that Jomy had finally outgrown the habit of skipping his lessons, especially now that his sessions with Harley included more than just chess, but perhaps he had overestimated Jomy's tolerance for regularly scheduled activities. _Shall I look for him?_

"That would be a great help, yes."

Leo closed his eyes and sought out Jomy's presence. The missing Soldier wasn't in his quarters or anywhere else nearby, but Leo had a feeling that he was somewhere in the upper decks. _If you would follow me, Captain, I think I have an idea about where to look._

They took an elevator up to the very top. "You've always been good at tracking him down," observed Harley. "How do you do it?"

Leo shrugged. _It's like being in the dark and chasing a glowing target that's always changing position. Sometimes you can just catch a trace of its fading light as it darts out of sight around a corner._

"Hmmm," said Harley as they stepped out into another corridor. "Even the same Type Green Mu can have such differing abilities," he mused.

_Ah! _Leo suddenly stopped in front of a door. _Captain!_

Harley came to a halt. "What is it?"

_I think we may find him here._

Harley looked at the door. "In the planetarium? Well, let's go find out, shall we?" He stepped through the automatic doors, and Leo followed behind him.

They passed through a short corridor and a curtained entrance to enter the giant marble hall that served as the planetarium and Physis's de facto residence. Sure enough, there was Jomy. He sat with Physis at a small table at the foot of the enormous telescope. They were drinking tea and apparently deep in conversation.

"Pardon the intrusion, Physis," Harley said as they approached the pair, "but we come seeking Soldier Shin."

"Welcome, Captain, and Leo!" She set down her delicate teacup. "We were just enjoying some mid-morning tea and cookies. Perhaps you would join us?"

Harley cleared his throat. "Your offer is most appreciated, but I fear the Soldier and I have other business to which we must attend."

"We do?" asked Jomy, munching on a vanilla wafer.

_It is time for your morning training session, Soldier, _Leo said before Harley could respond.

Jomy looked like he knew he was in trouble. "Oh, was that supposed to start now? I lost track of time!"

"It was supposed to start an hour ago," Harley said coldly.

Jomy got up. "Sorry, Physis, but it looks like I'll have to cut this short. Thanks for breakfast!"

"Anytime, Soldier." Smiling, she rose to her feet as well. "Please do come again."

"Alright, then, Harley, let's get going!" declared Jomy, striding right past the captain towards the door. "And don't expect me to go easy on you today just because I'm fighting on a full stomach!"

Harley quickly turned to follow Jomy. "Of course not, Soldier." He almost managed to conceal the irritation in his voice.

Leo watched them leave, glad that the situation had resolved itself. He turned back to Physis. _If you will excuse me—_

"Wait." She reached out and took hold of his hand to prevent him from going. "Please, stay a moment longer. I was hoping you would come if I invited Jomy here."

Puzzled and somewhat uncomfortable, Leo raised an eyebrow. _Physis?_

"I have seen something in the cards," she said softly. She released his arm and clasped her hands together at her breast. "I see danger approaching like a powerful wave of water, dark as endless night, sweeping away all that lies before it. I can hear its roar—it is close, yet I cannot see from where it is coming. But it is coming for you, Leo."

A chill ran down Leo's spine, though he hoped that Physis was being merely melodramatic. _What danger could this be?_

"I cannot see anything more than that," she said, "but I feel it applies to you specifically. It came up in a reading about you that Jomy requested. I can't explain this vision well, I fear, so all I can do is ask that you be particularly vigilant whenever you leave the ship."

_I am aware of the risks I face as a pilot, _he replied, trying to push aside his unease and the nagging curiosity about this reading Jomy had apparently asked for, _but I will try to be more careful._

Physis lowered her hands and nodded. "Please do. If anything should happen to you—" Her words trailed off and hung in the air between them. "He cares a lot about you, you know," she added after a moment. "Jomy does."

He had no idea how to respond to that remark. He suspected her visions had shown her more than she was willing to tell him, but he was not in a position to ask her to reveal anything more, especially if the vision had been prompted by something Jomy had asked her. _Have you told the Soldier or Captain Harley?_

"No, not yet. Do you want me to?"

_No, thank you._

She nodded. "I will let you know if I see anything else—it may not be anything serious at all. But please take care of yourself just in case, Leo."

_I will._ _Thank you for your advice_.

He left the hall feeling vaguely unsettled and unsure what, if anything, he could do about it.

oooooooo

Eventually the _Shangri-la_ entered a new star system. The ship's computers had no record of this sector of space at all, so no one knew what to expect. With the Soldier's consent, the captain deemed the system worth investigating because one of its planets had certain intriguing characteristics. The standard sensor scan had revealed seven planets orbiting this star, but the third world from the star had an atmosphere consisting mainly of nitrogen, plus some oxygen and carbon dioxide. Massive storms swirled over the vast oceans covering most of its surface.

_Terra? _The electrifying question raced through ship as everyone aboard thought the same thing. But again, the hopes of the Mu were not to be realized. Additional scans showed no evidence of any Human settlement, past or present. There was no way this planet could be Terra, but there were primitive life forms on the surface, and what land there was seemed potentially habitable.

That night, during their regular evening meeting, Jomy asked Leo what he thought of the watery planet they had found.

_The atmosphere seems to be breathable, _Leo said as he picked up Jomy's cape from where it had been tossed over the back of a chair. _It's the most Terra-like planet we've encountered so far. _He carefully hung the cape on a hangar and smoothed the folds of the red fabric before he put it away.

"You know, the Elders are debating whether we should send a landing team down to the surface," said Jomy, lying on his back in bed, his hands tucked behind his head.

Leo turned. _Really? _They had dispatched missions to moons and asteroids to mine for minerals and other resources, but the Mu had not ventured down to an actual planet since they had taken to space again.

"They say there could be some plant or animal life down there that could be useful." He crossed one leg over the other and continued to stare up at the ceiling. "The atmospheric conditions on the planet are extremely unstable, though, and some of the Elders say it's too dangerous to send anyone into that mess."

_An understandable concern._

Jomy looked over at Leo. "What do you think? Would you send someone down there?"

_I think it might be worth the risk, if we are careful. We may find something of value to us. _He paused. _At the very least, it might remind us why we are searching for Terra. There are things on that planet that we cannot have here in space—land, fresh air, real sunlight._

"Would you go, if you had the chance?"

A smile came to Leo's lips. _I would, if I could pilot one of the landing ships. There is nothing better than flying through the sky, with land or the surface of the ocean far below you. _He thought of the landscapes he had seen from the air on Artemisia: the grandeur of the sweeping wastelands, the splendor of the rugged mountains at sunrise, and the glittering carpet of lights that was the city of Ataraxia at night. It had been years since he flown in an atmosphere; his only domain now was the vacuum of space, which wasn't quite the same.

"You really do like flying, don't you."

_Yes, _he said, a bit bashfully. _I wanted to be a pilot ever since I was a child._

Jomy gazed up at the ceiling. "It's funny, I don't remember wanting to be anything in particular when I was a kid. I guess it wouldn't have mattered—that damn computer would've just erased that desire anyway, I bet."

With a flash of guilt, Leo recalled how little choice the Mu had given Jomy in becoming their leader, even though they had helped him avoid the loss of his memories during the computerized adulthood examination.

Jomy rolled over onto his side and fixed his eyes on Leo. "Don't make that sad face, Leo—no one forced me to become Soldier, either, you know. I chose to come back here."

His words only made Leo feel worse. He felt guilty for even questioning how willing Jomy had been to accept the mantle of the Soldier.

Jomy gave him a smile. "Besides, I would never have gotten to know you so well if I hadn't come back."

Leo didn't know what to say.

Jomy sat up and perched himself at the edge of his bed. "But maybe it's time to open up some new options for everyone, including the younger Mu," he mused. "We can't stay holed up in this ship forever. There have to be others who'd be willing to go down to the planet." The smile playing about his lips broadened. "Just wait, Leo! I'll see if I can't find a way for you to fly to an actual planet again!"


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The corridors were quiet and empty as Jomy made his nightly pilgrimage to Soldier Blue's room.

He thought of what his earlier conversation with Leo: "No one forced me to become Soldier." He stood by those words. His only regret was how long it had taken him to accept the role, to accept his true nature. His stubbornness had cost them all so very much.

He stepped into the Blue Room and remembered the first time he had come here, heart racing with fear and anger, fists balled and ready to fight this man called Soldier Blue if he didn't let him go back to Ataraxia. But Blue had met him with endless patience and let him go, knowing all the while what it would cost him to allow Jomy to make his own decision.

He parted the curtains surrounding Blue's bed and looked down at the sleeping Soldier. It still pained him to see him like this, knowing how full of strength and energy Blue had once been. But—from what Jomy had gathered in the whispered gossip among the crew—Blue's power had already been waning for many years, long before Jomy was even born. Jomy could only imagine what a powerful man Blue had been in his prime.

"What would you have done," wondered Jomy aloud, "if you had never found me?" The sleeping man gave no response, but Jomy continued. "What if you couldn't save me? What if you hadn't been able to rein in my powers on Ataraxia? What if I hadn't been strong enough to fend off all those attacks? What if I still refused to follow you, even after you poured your memories into me? What then, Blue?"

He thought of the many chess games he was forced to play with Harley and wondered if he, too, was a pawn, just one of many useless pieces on Blue's chessboard in a match where the loser faced extinction. Or maybe Jomy was one of the last remaining pieces in a losing game—a powerful piece, but still at risk of annihilation.

The image of a chessboard with a white queen guarding the king came to mind.

Jomy blinked and wondered if he had imagined a slight twitch at the corner of Blue's mouth. That would be like him, to suggest Jomy was the queen to his king.

"You awake?" he asked, leaning over Blue and peering at his face. Every so often, there would be moments like this—moments of sheer hope—when Jomy thought he saw a sign of life, a hint of consciousness, returning to the former Soldier. Blue might not have the strength to speak or project coherent thoughts, but now and again there were instantaneous flashes of emotion or the faintest suggestion of an image, and Jomy knew they came from Blue. There was no doubt.

He placed two fingers lightly against Blue's neck, checking his pulse. It was slow but steady—and slightly faster than it had been the last few days.

"King, huh?" mused Jomy. "It's more like you're a sleeping princess." He leaned down to kiss Blue. He channeled his energy into Blue to the best of his ability, hoping it would push him closer to consciousness. If Blue was already stronger today on his own, then every little bit of extra energy might speed up his recovery. The barest shimmer of hope made Jomy want to give Blue all that he could.

Jomy kissed Blue until he felt one of his knees begin to buckle. He stopped the flow of psionic energy into Blue a bit more abruptly than he intended and pulled away from the sleeping man. He felt lightheaded and breathless. He sank heavily to the floor, to his usual spot beside Blue's bed. He leaned his head back against the bed and closed his eyes as he waited for his strength to return.

Jomy had chosen to come back to Blue, but Blue had never been given more than one choice—the choice to flee or to die. Circumstances had forced Blue's hand time and time again. If Blue came up with a daring stratagem against his opponent, it was only because he had no choice but to do the best he could with the pieces left on the board, whatever they were. Even if they were only pawns. After all, if only one pawn—one lucky, steadfast pawn—reached the opponent's side of the board, it could sacrifice itself to resurrect a piece as mighty as the queen. There was no such thing as a useless piece while the match was still on.

Jomy opened his eyes. "Maybe Harley is on to something with his chess." He slowly pushed himself back up to his feet, then turned to look down at Blue again. He could see Blue's chest rise and fall gently with each breath. He reached out to check his pulse again and felt a rush of delight when Blue's heartbeat was even stronger and faster than before.

Jomy observed him in silence for a while, but there was no other sign that he might be close to awakening.

"I'll be back tomorrow," said Jomy, as he did every night. Maybe tomorrow the Soldier would wake up. Maybe tomorrow he would see how much Jomy had grown. Maybe tomorrow Blue would learn that the game was not over yet.

oooooooo

"I was happy to note your active participation in the last Council meeting," said Captain Harley during his early morning sparring session with Jomy.

Jomy fired three shots in quick succession at the captain, who blocked them with a thin shield of glowing green energy. "I only suggested what I thought Blue would want us to do," replied Jomy.

"He would be pleased to see you taking more initiative." Harley grunted as another burst of blue psionic energy slammed into his shield.

"I'll show you initiative!" grinned Jomy, leaping into the air to launch a heavy aerial assault on the captain. Harley's eyes widened, but then he threw up a series of three, mutually reinforcing shields and sprinted away as Jomy's barrage rained down upon him. Floating in mid-air, Jomy kept up the attack and chased Harley around the training room with a steady stream of small psionic bullets. One of Harley's shields wavered and faded, followed quickly by the second and third shields.

Jomy let out a triumphant whoop, but before he could claim victory, Harley suddenly launched himself off a wall, rebounded off another, and then came barreling straight up at Jomy from below with an orb of green energy balled in his hands.

Jomy hastily gathered his own energy into a shining blue shield just in time to block Harley's attack, but the physical force of Harley's charge was enough to send both of them hurtling up into the ceiling. Jomy grunted as his back slammed into the cushioned surface. Then the captain crashed straight into him, knocking the breath out of both of them. Stunned, they both lost control and dropped straight back down to the floor. Jomy managed to land unsteadily on his feet, while Harley crashed down heavily beside him.

Still gulping painfully for air, Jomy fell to his knees beside Harley. Harley groaned and slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. His lungs beginning to cooperate again, Jomy stood up and offered the captain his hand, who took it and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.

"Well, that was fun."

"For you more than me, I imagine," said Harley, wiping sweat off his brow. "But we need to work on your shieldwork some more, clearly. Don't get so caught up in your offense that you forget your defense!"

Jomy let go of Harley's hand. "I know, I know."

"Still, you have improved much since you first came here. I remember that we couldn't even let you train with a drone at first because you broke all the robots just by looking at them. Now your control is such that you can spar with another living being without seriously endangering them."

Jomy smiled at the backhanded compliment. "Why'd you volunteer to spar with me again, anyway?"

"I may be old, but that doesn't mean I can't improve, either. Training with an aggressive Type Blue is the best way to hone my own natural defensive abilities as a Type Green."

Jomy's brows rose. "Did you ever spar with Soldier Blue, then?"

"Ah," said Harley, looking up at the ceiling as if his memories were playing out on a screen up there. "Indeed. In the early years on Artemisia, after we awoke from the cold sleep, we tested each other to see how far our powers could go. None of us knew what we were capable off, back then—just that our energy came in different colors: red, yellow, green, blue. It was only with time that we learned how to use our different abilities to our advantage, to protect ourselves and our stolen ship."

Jomy tried to imagine what it must have been like in those days, when the Mu did not even know how to raise a psionic shield around the entire ship. The thought frightened him.

"Blue struggled with his control in the beginning," reminisced Harley. "Types Yellow and Blue seem to have the most difficulty with that—too much outward-moving energy, I'm told, whatever that means."

"This raises one very important question, Captain."

Harley turned his gaze to Jomy. "Which is?"

Jomy grinned. "Did you ever beat Blue in a match?"

Harley raised his eyebrows. Suddenly, he took a step towards Jomy—and before Jomy could figure out what he was trying to do—launched himself at Jomy and threw him back onto the floor with a swift nudge of the foot and a push of the hand. He pinned the young Soldier down with his weight and wrapped one hand around Jomy's throat—not tightly, but with just enough pressure that Jomy understood the vulnerability of his position.

Jomy stared up at him, shocked. Harley smirked ever so slightly and said, "Psionic strength isn't everything, Soldier." He let go of Jomy's throat. In that same instant, Jomy brought a hand up to Harley's chest and fired. The psionic attack sent the captain hurtling backward into the opposite wall.

Jomy climbed to his feet. "But it is something, Harley!" He walked over to where Harley sat with his back against the padded sparring room wall. "You totally cheated, attacking me in the middle of our conversation!"

Harley looked up at him, a bit stunned. "You should have at least considered the possibility of a physical attack from a psionically weaker opponent." His face was serious. "You are the Soldier, after all."

"And you should have expected immediate retaliation from me. I am the Soldier, after all."

Harley gazed at him thoughtfully for a moment, but then he smiled wryly, rubbing his left shoulder. "I did. I just didn't expect it to be so swift. You have incredible power, Soldier Shin, even for a Type Blue."

Jomy extended a hand to Harley. The captain took hold of it, and Jomy helped him back up to his feet for the second time. "Moments like this remind me that I have three centuries in my bones," admitted the captain. "To be young again…"

A cold flash passed over Jomy. Harley was another great leader of the Mu, but also one of the oldest. Like Blue, his strength was surely waning with age. The thought of Harley being gone filled him with unspeakable dread.

"What are you saying, Harley!" said Jomy, forcing a smile to his face. "You're still fit enough to beat a Soldier into the ground! I hope to have half your strength when I'm three hundred-years old!"

Harley gave him a sidelong look—a strange look tinged with sadness—and Jomy knew that the captain saw right through his cheerful act. But Harley turned away and simply said, "Ah, I hope so, too."

oooooooo

_Leo?_

_Yes, Soldier?_

_Will you come with me to the Blue Room tonight?_

Leo paused. _I'd rather not intrude._

_But I want you to come and take a look at him. _He hesitated, afraid to say it lest it only lead to false expectations. _I keep thinking that he's doing better and would like to get your opinion on it._

_Wouldn't the doctor be a better person to ask?_

_The doctor just tells me that his condition remains stable_. _It's more subtle than that._

_Then why would I be able to help?_

_Because you know him—better than I do. _It took him some effort to admit that.

_If you insist._

_I insist!_

_Then I will go with you tonight, Soldier._

oooooooo

Jomy approached Blue's bed with Leo at his side.

"Blue, I brought Leo with me again today," he told the reposing figure. _Say something, Leo_, he commanded telepathically.

Leo looked down at the bed. _Good evening, Soldier Blue._

Jomy watched Blue's face for any kind of reaction, but there was none. He checked pulse and breathing, then stroked Blue's silver hair softly. _Let me transfer some energy first, then you tell me if he looks better, okay, Leo?_

_Ah…aye, Soldier._

_Something wrong?_

_N-no. Please continue._

Jomy gave Leo a quizzical look, then turned his attention back to Blue. Summoning his energy, he closed his eyes and leaned down to press his lips to Blue's. Blue's lips were warm but his mouth was shut, his body unresponsive as usual. There was the tingling sensation of the energy leaving Jomy's body, a slight shiver that made its way up his spine. He held the kiss a moment longer, wanting to increase the chances of Blue showing some sign of life in the presence of their mutual friend.

Finally, when he felt like he could give no more, Jomy pulled away. The fading blue glow of his psionic power made Blue's face look even paler. Jomy shut his eyes for a moment and sucked in a deep breath. His knees felt weak but he refused to let them even tremble—not in front of Leo. It would only make him worry.

_Are you alright, Soldier?_

Jomy willed the lingering dizziness to stop. "Of course, Leo." _Take a look and tell me if you think Blue's condition has changed_, he added, taking an unsteady step away from the bed. The room felt colder than before, much colder.

Leo cast a look at Jomy and moved past him to the bed. He knelt down beside it and touched Blue's wrist. He leaned in close for a moment, as if he had heard something, but then he pulled back and slowly stood up again. _I don't know. He appears to be in stable condition. _He looked back at Jomy. _Has he been…worse?_

Jomy shook his head. "The last few days he's been doing better, actually." He gazed down at Blue. "I even caught a thought from him, once. I haven't been able to do that in a long time."

_I'm sorry_, said Leo gently.

Jomy let out a sigh and sat down beside Blue's bed, trying to hide the fact that he felt too tired to stand for even a moment longer. "Oh Blue," he said, "I wish you would wake up and see where we are now. It's not Terra, but we found a blue planet that looks almost like it, you know."

Blue lay still and unmoving.

"You'll really miss out if you don't wake up." The corner of Jomy's mouth turned up. "I'll tell you more about it tomorrow, but I expect it all to be very exciting."

_Why do you say that? _wondered Leo.

"Ah, didn't I tell you?" He smiled up at Leo, savoring the moment despite his exhaustion. "You'll be going. To the new planet. The Elders decided that today."

Leo's jaw dropped. _Me?_

"I expect you to make a full report to Blue when you're back. The Elders won't let me go. Too dangerous for a Soldier, they say. As if there were such a thing."

_Soldier—_

"Surprised?"

_Yes._

"I'm jealous, you know."

Leo extended a hand to Jomy. _I'll share my experience with you, too, of course. If you want me to, that is._

Jomy looked at Leo's gloved hand, then reached out to take it. With practiced ease, Leo pulled Jomy smoothly to his feet. The blood rushed from Jomy's head with the movement, and he stumbled against Leo. But Leo kept his firm grip on Jomy's hand and caught him lightly by the shoulder.

"Of course I want to see what you'll see," said Jomy hurriedly, hoping to distract Leo from his clumsiness. He leaned against Leo for support, trying not to sway on his feet. "Show me everything you remember, like you did before." He thought of the memories of Jomy's childhood that Leo had shown him once. "The world is a much nicer place through your eyes, Leo."

_Only because my gaze is always focused on you, Soldier._

Jomy didn't know what to say, so instead of speaking, he dropped his mental guard just enough to let Leo feel his gratitude at the comment—and his embarrassment. Leo responded by opening his mind slightly as well, and Jomy felt Leo's affection and determination as thought it were his own. And now he could feel the strength returning to his limbs, the warmth returning to his body.

_Leo, why do you always know exactly what I need? _He wanted to stay like this, pressed against Leo, but he pulled himself away. He was sure now that he could stand on his own and walk out of the Blue Room without any trouble. He hoped Leo would not suspect a thing. Leo would only scold him for expending so much energy.

_You should get some sleep, Soldier._

Jomy gave him a wan smile. "I will. Don't worry about me."

_And—thank you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fly again._

A real smile came to Jomy's lips. "It's the least I could do for you."

_Thank you, Soldier._ He let Jomy feel the real gratitude in his heart, and his amber-green eyes shone with an emotion that was even more powerful than that. Jomy felt himself being drawn in, wanting to know what more lay behind those golden eyes, wanting to see the rest of Leo's heart. He reached out a hand, unthinkingly, and almost touched Leo's face—

But he caught himself and dropped his hand. Abruptly he turned away, hoping Leo wouldn't see the blush coloring his face. His heart pounded so hard he wondered why the sound of it didn't echo from the walls of the hall.

He had almost tried to kiss Leo. He didn't know why the impulse had come over him, but he had unconsciously, instinctively almost pulled the man's face closer to his, had almost brought his lips to his, had almost—here in Blue's presence—

"Let's go, Leo," he ordered, letting the gruffness of the command cover his confusion. He cast a glance at Blue and added, "Good night, Blue. I'll be back tomorrow."


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Early the next day, it was officially announced that a team of scientists would be sent to the blue planet below. Leo was one of six pilots assigned to ferry the landing team to the surface and back. A full day was spent making preparations, but at last the time came for the three shuttles to carry a science team from the _Shangri-la_ to the surface of the alien world for the first time since the flight from Artemisia.

_I can't wait to fly through an atmosphere again, _Leo admitted to his co-pilot as they ran through their final flight check. The co-pilot was a young woman named Anjna, one of Leo's students. Although she was still just a trainee, Leo had requested she join the mission. The girl showed great promise, and the Soldier himself had noted that the younger generations also deserved to play a role in this historic event. The Council of Elders had acquiesced.

"Is it much different from the simulator?" asked Anjna, a tremor of nervousness in her voice.

Leo wanted to say that yes, flying through actual wind and clouds was incomparable to even the best efforts of the computer, but instead he smiled at his student and assured her, _Not really. You will be fine._

The shuttles took off from the _Shangri-la_ and entered the atmosphere of the planet. As the red glow of plasma engulfed their little ship, Leo's pulse began to race. He could feel the atmosphere growing denser and the pull of gravity becoming stronger as they dove towards the planet's surface and left outer space behind.

When they broke through the clouds to see the endless blue ocean spread out beneath them, Leo's heart soared. It felt wonderful to navigate through the currents of the air, to plow through misty patches of clouds, and—most of all—to see a horizon line etched out in the distance again. He was flying beneath the sky once more, and it was more wonderful than he had remembered. He laughed, overjoyed.

They landed on the shore of the largest island of a small archipelago just south of the planet's equator. After checking the instruments and confirming that the site was indeed safe, Leo finally opened the shuttle doors. Hot, humid air immediately rushed in, bringing with it the unmistakable scent of salt spray and living things.

As he stepped off the landing ramp onto firm ground, Leo took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The cloying touch of the thick, natural atmosphere against his skin was an unexpected delight. A strong sea breeze blew through his hair and brought tears to his eyes. It had been a long time since he last felt a natural wind on his skin. The sensation was almost overwhelming.

He glanced over at Anjna, who stood beside him with her mouth hanging open as she took in the purple beach, the glittering blue sea, and the strange blue-green vegetation covering the island. "Wow."

Cries of awe and wonder rose up from the rest of the landing party as they took in this land, this world that no Human, no Mu had ever seen before.

Leo pulled off one glove and knelt down to scoop up a handful of purple sand in his hand. He felt the tiny grains rub against his skin as they poured through his fingers, and a powerful longing filled his heart. People were not meant to live in sterile ships in space; they were meant to feel the soil and the water, the air and the sunlight, and all the other things the natural world offered them.

He stood up, dusted off his hand on his pants, and put his glove back on.

This was an unknown, alien world, and yet—and yet—

"I wonder if this is what Terra's like," murmured Anjna.

oooooooo

The landing party had been given the entire day to explore the island. The scientists scampered about, climbing over rocks, digging through the undergrowth, wading through the shallows. They analyzed everything they could and picked up various samples and specimens. The pilots helped them carry their collections back to the shuttles to be stowed away. It was hard work in the midday sun, but no one complained. The experience was worth every drop of sweat and every aching muscle.

Up on a slight rise, Leo leaned against a tree and surveyed the endless ocean before him, with its massive waves pounding the purple beach below him. This world was mostly ocean, and the waves grew to unbelievable heights as they slammed into their small island. The sunlight glinted off the sea with an almost painful brightness, and on the horizon, towering clouds loomed up thousands of meters into the sky. It was beautiful, so very beautiful.

Behind him, he heard the scientists chattering excitedly amongst themselves, but then their shouts and exclamations grew so loud that Leo had to tear himself away from the scenery to ask them what they had found that had gotten them so riled up.

"We don't know!" cried a scientist ecstatically. "Isn't it great?"

They had about three hours left before their scheduled departure when a transmission from the main ship came in. One of the pilots closest to a cockpit answered the call. "Shuttle Alpha-3 here."

"_Shangri-la_ here. There's a large storm rapidly developing to your east. Advise you to commence preparations for immediate departure."

"What? Already?"

"Yes, now. We didn't want to interrupt you guys, but it's the captain's orders."

The pilot frowned. "Understood. Preparing for departure." He stood up and called out to the science team. "Hey, we just got orders to move out! There's a storm coming! Time to bring everything back to the ships and get out of here!"

Leo cast his eyes back to the sea and saw that the beautiful clouds he had admired earlier were indeed drawing rapidly closer. Already he could see them flicker with distant flashes of cloud-to-cloud lightning. _Yes, it's time to go, _he said, already moving back to his shuttle. _Anjna!_

His student was at his side immediately, and together they began the pre-launch sequence. He wanted them to be ready to take off at a moment's notice.

At first the scientists were reluctant to abandon the island and all its remaining undiscovered treasures, but when the sky darkened with the increasingly more threatening clouds, they finally stopped stalling and hurriedly packed up the last of their things. When all the Mu and their cargo had been loaded into the shuttles, the pilots prepared for lift-off.

Leo's shuttle was the last to launch. It took to the air smoothly, but then it encountered some turbulence from the approaching storm.

"It's a bit bumpier than space, huh," Anjna observed.

_Yes. But this is nothing._

She nodded and pressed her lips together tightly. Leo kept his hands steady on the controls, still enjoying himself. This was what he loved—spaceflight had its moments, but this sense of plowing through the air was incomparable.

Suddenly the entire aircraft lurched wildly and banked heavily to the right, throwing Leo to the side so hard that his harness cut into him. He wrested the shuttle back into a more normal flight position. Almost immediately, the control panel lit up with warning lights while alarms sounded throughout the cockpit.

In the cabin behind them, the passengers started coughing and making strange gagging noises._ What's that smell?_ cried a scientist. The science team's fear was palpable.

_I can't breathe!_

"Some kind of...gas..."

An acrid smell reached Leo's nose, stinging his nostrils. His eyes widened, and a glance at the controls confirmed his fear: the level of propellant in one of the fuel tanks was dropping rapidly. There had to be a leak in one of the main fuel lines. Poisonous propulsion gas was pouring into the cabin.

_Fuel leak! Everyone, put up a barrier! _he cried, raising a green psionic shield around his own body. Their shields would keep additional gas from getting into their lungs, he hoped. It might buy them some time, but he could already feel a burning sensation in his lungs.He needed to bring the ship down and get everyone out into fresh air as soon as possible. There was no way they would make it back to the _Shangri-la_ like this.

Beside him, Anjna sat encased in her own red psionic barrier. "Shuttle Alpha-2 to _Shangri-la_," she hailed over the comm system while Leo fought to keep their craft stable. "Come in, _Shangri-la_!"

There was no response.

_We have to land, _Leo said, already bringing the aircraft into a bumpy descent.

"Come in, _Shangri-la_!" she tried again. "Alpha-2 to Alpha-1! Alpha-3! We have a broken fuel line, I repeat, broken fuel line, do you copy?"

Still no one answered her calls.

"What's going on?" asked a scientist sitting behind them in the main cabin, a yellow shield humming steadily around her body. Barely restrained panic was audible in her voice. "Maro's almost passed out back here!"

_We'll be down in a moment, _said Leo, trying to sound reassuring.

"This is Alpha-2, making an emergency landing! Request recovery!" shouted Anjna into the comm as their shuttle dropped down towards the ocean.

The engine sputtered, and the passengers gasped. Their ship was falling more than flying at this point, and Leo knew they were going down whether they wanted to or not. But he told himself he could land this. He had been through worse before. _Brace for impact!_

"Alpha-2, landing now!" shouted Anjna.

Then Leo brought the shuttle down.

oooooooo

The shuttle made a rough landing on the surface of the ocean, slamming into the waves and shooting up a hissing curtain of white spray and steam before settling into an unsteady, bobbing float. There was no landmass to shelter them out here, away from the island, and the damaged aircraft road the waves, battered across the hull by some of the higher crests.

Leo released the escape hatch and an emergency life raft inflated automatically. Anjna helped him evacuate their passengers to the round, yellow raft as they rocked back and forth dangerously in the sea. The scientists cried out for their samples from the island, but Leo shouted, _We don't have time! Leave them!_

Once everyone made it aboard, they cut the raft loose from the shuttle and began drifting away from it, rising and falling with the waves. The damaged aircraft was soon out of sight.

_Injuries? _asked Leo. A sudden fit of painful coughing wracked his chest. He must have breathed in more gas than he thought.

The other Mu sat in a circle against the raft wall. The tanned, skinny biologist named Maro appeared to almost unconscious as he leaned against an older, dark-skinned woman named Phee, the chief scientist of the team.

"Just some bumps and bruises, I think," Phee replied. She wrapped an arm around Maro and tried to pull him up into a sitting position. She paused to cough before adding, "And sore lungs all around. Maro got the worst of it. He was sitting all the way in the back and started breathing it in first, I think."

_We'll just have to sit tight and wait for help_, Leo told them.

"I hope the other shuttles made it out," muttered one of the scientists as Anjna passed out life jackets and blankets to everyone.

So they sat, bobbing up and down on the waves as they waited for rescue. There was no sign of the other shuttles in the cloudy sky, and no land could be seen. Anjna kept trying to hail the _Shangri-la_ on the emergency communicator, but with no success.

They were lost at sea.

Rain began to fall, lightly at first. Lightning danced across the sky in the distance, but soon they could hear rolls of thunder. The wind picked up, blowing the waves even higher, and the raft was now being tossed about more roughly on the growing swells of the sea. There was little they could do besides cling to the handholds on the raft as it rose and fell on the enormous waves.

As the rain started to pour down in torrents around them, Anjna said, "This isn't looking very good." Her voice was hoarse from repeatedly trying to contact the _Shangri-la_.

_We will make it out, _insisted Leo, gritting his teeth. Surely the _Shangri-la_ would come to their rescue soon enough. But the waves were still growing bigger, and the wind beat at them with an intense ferocity. Leo pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders and looked at the distant sky. He had never felt so completely helpless as he did now. He was used to fighting Human enemies, not overpowering forces of nature.

He suddenly recalled Physis's cryptic warning to him: _I see danger approaching like a powerful wave of water, dark as endless night, sweeping away all that lies before it. _The memory of her words made him shudder.

They took turns trying to contact the ship as night fell. In the dark, the roar of the wind sounded even more frightening, and the increasingly violent motion of the raft robbed them of any remaining sense of security. Over and over and over again, the raft was tossed up to the crest of a massive wave before dropping straight down into a deep trough. Flashes of lightning afforded them eerie glimpses of the next swell towering over them. All they could do was hold on and hope that the raft would stay afloat.

As the rain and the spray from the battering waves increased, Leo began to fear that the raft might be swamped, so he and another scientist who was a Type Green tried to project a psionic shield over their lifeboat to keep the water and wind at bay. The others amplified the shield as best as they could, but everyone was cold, wet, nauseated, tired, and scared. They could not keep this up for more than a few hours more at most.

How long they had been out there, at the mercy of the sea and the storm, Leo did not know. Every part of his body ached from the effort of hanging onto the raft, but he closed his eyes and concentrated on keeping his shield up.

He could hear the water all around them. The small, fragile raft was the only thing between him and the bottom of this alien ocean. One wave too tall, one wind gust too strong, and he could be thrown overboard into the hungry maw of the sea. The life jacket would do little good in these raging waves. The water would crush him, invading his nose and mouth and forcing its way into his lungs. The pain would be unbearable until he finally gave in and let the cold blackness of death take him.

He knew all too clearly what it would feel like. He had been through it before, when he nearly drowned with Jomy in Ataraxia, in that empty warehouse where the Humans had ambushed them.

Suddenly he felt something warm touch his hand. With great effort, he opened his eyes and saw in the glow of their collective aura that Phee had put her hand over his, helping him grip the handle on the wall of the raft.

_Don't you dare let go, _she told him. The red glow of her aura intensified, and he felt like a small weight had been lifted from him. He wanted to thank her, but he could barely find the energy to nod his head in acknowledgment.

Huddled together and clinging to their life raft, the Mu waited for rescue or for death—whichever came first.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

At long last, a new sound could be heard in the dark, though it was barely distinguishable from the fury of the storm. It grew louder and finally Leo opened his eyes to see where it came from. The glare of lights shining from above nearly blinded him.

_Leo! _The voice in his head was familiar.

…_Cid?_ he asked hesitantly, afraid to believe lest he be disappointed.

_It's a shuttle! _Now he heard Anjna's telepathy. _They've come to get us! We're saved!_

Leo looked up again, trying to get his eyes to focus in the garish spotlight. At last he could make out a gray Mu shuttle hovering several meters above them. Someone was lowering a ladder from an open hatch.

_Climb up! One by one! _The firm, commanding voice unmistakably belonged to Cid.

As the storm continued to rage around them, the shipwrecked Mu slowly climbed the ladder to safety. The shuttle was buffeted by the stormy winds, but somehow the pilots held it steady long enough for everyone to make it up and out of the rain.

Leo was the last to climb out of the raft. When he reached the shuttle, he tumbled to the floor, and someone helped him into a passenger seat while the hatch door slammed shut behind him. The howl of the storm and the roar of the sea abruptly vanished. Wet and shivering, he gratefully accepted the warm, dry blanket someone offered him.

"Everybody alright back there?" asked Cid from the cockpit. "All accounted for?"

"Yes, sir!" responded Anjna from behind him.

_All here, _added Leo, pulling the blanket tight around his shoulders. He coughed and felt like a fire was searing his lungs from the inside out.

Beside him sat Phee, still cradling Maro. They were both drenched and bedraggled from the waves and the rain. Phee caught his gaze and offered him a weary smile. _We made it, _she said. Leo nodded. He would not forget how she had helped him.

"Time to get the hell out of here," said Cid, pulling back on the throttle.

The shuttle blasted into the sky, tearing through the storm clouds on its way home to the _Shangri-la_.

oooooooo

Most of the _Shangri-la_'s crew had gathered in the hangar to welcome the rescue shuttle. They greeted the tired, bedraggled Mu with cheers and cries of gratitude as they staggered out of the shuttle. The air was thick with emotion—joy, relief, anxiety, gratitude, hope, awe—as the Mu made no attempt to conceal their feelings. Leo stopped in his tracks, taken aback by the sudden roar of thoughts in his head.

Then he saw Captain Harley striding towards them, leaving the Soldier standing with the Elders behind him. Jomy's brows were furrowed and his lips pressed into a tight, angry frown. The way Harley left Jomy behind, the way Jomy stood sulking slightly apart from the Elders—Leo felt his heart sink. Something had changed while Leo was away.

Harley walked past Leo and approached Cid. "Well done, Cid," he told him in a low voice, relief evident in his eyes. "Well done." Then he turned to the rest of the rescue and landing teams. His booming voice rang out so all could hear: "Welcome home, friends. We're relieved that you have all made it back safely."

"But—we lost a shuttle," stammered Anjna.

Harley gazed at the girl. "The shuttle is replaceable. You, however, are not." He glanced at Maro, who was being supported Phee and another scientist. "Let's get these people to sickbay immediately." At his words, several members of the medical staff rushed forward to assist the weakened Mu. A moment later the rest of the assembled crowd swept forward to tearfully welcome back their friends and loved ones. The Elders gather around Harley. Jomy trailed somewhat behind them.

_Captain, what happened?_ Leo asked, curiosity overcoming his exhaustion. _We could not contact the ship._

"There was some kind of electromagnetic interference in the storm," piped up Yae from behind the captain. The petite, pale woman pushed her round-framed glasses up her nose a little. "We couldn't track any of the shuttles once the storm blew in."

"We thought you were gone for good," added Brau, the chief navigation officer. She tugged at her gray Elder's cape. "We had to keep the Soldier from flying down there to look for you by himself." She looked down at Jomy, who was standing just in front of her. His face was still hard as stone. He said nothing.

"After the other two shuttles came back safely, we eventually grasped the situation," continued Yae. "But by then we had no idea where you might be, so—"

Harley raised his hand to still the talk. "Enough. There will be debriefing later. Let these people get some rest first." He turned on his heel, green cape fluttering behind him, and called for Brau and Yae to join him in his office. The two women hurried after him, and one by one, the other Elders made their way towards the exit.

A nurse approached Leo, but he gently shook his head and she left him alone. Instead of following everyone else out of the hangar, Leo approached Jomy, who was standing still and glaring up at him with narrowed green eyes. The last of the crowd trickled out, back to the heart of the ship.

_I'm back, Soldier, _said Leo when they were alone at last.

Jomy stared at him a moment longer, but then his face twisted and Leo realized the Soldier had been trying very hard not to cry this whole time.

"Don't you ever go and do something like that again!" Jomy flung himself against Leo, wrapping his arms around him. "I thought you were dead!"

Leo raised his weary arms and slowly wrapped them around the Soldier's shoulders. Despite Jomy's harsh words, the emotion he felt pouring from the Soldier was not anger, but profound relief. A smile came to Leo's lips.

_Soldier, I'm fine. Everything's alright now. _

"Leo!" sobbed Jomy against his chest.

Holding Jomy, Leo closed his eyes and rested his cheek against Jomy's head. Now that he was safely home again, the numbness from the shock of his ordeal slowly began to leave him. He realized just how close he had come to never seeing his Soldier again. Just the thought of leaving Jomy alone—abandoning him now just as the Elders seemed to be rejecting his leadership again—made his heart ache. He hugged Jomy as tightly as his tired body would let him.

He never wanted to let him go. He wanted to be at his side always, in good times and in bad. He could endure anything as long as he knew that in the end, Jomy would be waiting for him, calling out Leo's name and welcoming him back with open arms.

As he held Jomy close, Leo had the uncanny feeling that they were being watched. Unable to shake the sensation, he finally looked up and spotted Physis by the far wall of the hangar. She stood facing them, with one hand pressed over her heart. Her blind eyes were shut, but her face bore a look of immense relief.

_Physis? _he asked.

She twitched, as though she hadn't expected to be discovered. But then she smiled. _Leo. I'm happy you came back to us._

Peering over Jomy's head, Leo narrowed his eyes. _Was this the danger of which you warned me?_

She inclined her head slightly, then turned and began to leave, her lavender dress and long, blonde hair trailing on the floor behind her. _Leo, remember, _she said as she glided away, _you don't always have to be his protector. He is the Soldier._

Leo wanted to ask her what she meant, but then Jomy said his name again. By the time he looked back to where Physis had been, she was gone.

oooooooo

All of the Mu involved in the shuttle accident would be fine, the doctor assured the crew. He didn't expect anyone to have any serious long-term health issues from their misadventure. Even Maro, who had suffered the most from the initial gas leak, would recover completely. But, being Mu, it would take some time for all of them to return to full health.

Leo was told he would have to remain in sickbay for at least three weeks while his lungs healed and his body regained its strength. Jomy took in this news with a frown, but Leo assured him that he would fine. Indeed, after just a few days in sickbay, he already felt much better. Breathing was easier, and his chest barely hurt at all anymore when he was awake.

But he often woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and gasping for air. He kept dreaming that he was drowning. There would be a deep, piercing ache in his lungs until he forced his breathing back to normal and reminded himself that there was no water here. Then he would lie awake for a while, listening to his pounding heart until the soothing whir of the machines and the steady blinking of the medical monitors in the room lulled him back to sleep. But when morning came, he still felt unspeakably tired.

After a week of restless nights, he finally mentioned his sleeping problems to the doctor. The doctor told him that his mind was still trying to process the frightening events of the recent days, and that once his body healed, his mind would surely follow suit.

"After all," he remarked, "you recovered quite well after everything you went through in Ataraxia. This is nothing compared to that. I'm sure you'll be fine. Give yourself time. You're rather resilient for a Mu."

Still, the doctor had a nurse install a sound sleeper device on Leo's bed to help him rest better at night. It seemed to work—he didn't remember waking up frightened anymore—but he still felt drained each morning, as though he had gotten very little actual rest.

"I hope you get well soon," Jomy would say whenever he visited him. He didn't know of Leo's nightmares.

So all Leo could do in response was to force a smile and say, _I hope so, too._

oooooooo

Anjna was the first to be discharged from sickbay, but she still came by often to see how Leo and the others were doing. Other friends—mostly fellow pilots—dropped by every now and again, too. Jomy came by every evening to check on him, and sometimes he would appear in the mornings, as well. He always made his rounds among the other patients first before taking a seat next to Leo's bed. Then he would talk about his day and share a few tidbits of gossip until the doctor kicked him out so that Leo could rest.

Cid stopped by one afternoon, about a week after the accident. He sheepishly approached Leo's bed and apologized for not coming to see him sooner, but he had been busy with the investigation of the accident. Leo asked whether the cause of the accident had been found yet, and Cid merely shrugged. He pulled a stool up to Leo's bedside and sat down.

"All these safety mechanisms in place to prevent that sort of thing from happening, and yet it still happened. We're going down to see if we can recover the shuttle from the ocean, though. Only way to get some answers."

Leo frowned. _And to make sure we don't leave any evidence for the Humans to find._

"Yeah."

_Be careful down there._

Cid smiled wryly. "Hey, I've got a better track record than you."

Leo raised an eyebrow at him and Cid laughed.

"You feeling okay, though? You looked like a ghost than when we fished you out of that raft."

_I'm getting better. __And I haven't had a chance to thank you for coming to our rescue. We wouldn't have made it without you._

"It was the Soldier's idea, you know. We thought—we thought you were gone. Sending another aircraft blindly into unknown danger was too big a risk. But then Jomy stormed onto the bridge, shouting that if we didn't send down a rescue team immediately, he would go down there to get you himself."

_He went to the bridge? _Jomy obstinately refused to go there unless absolutely necessary.

"He was convinced you guys were still alive down there even though no one else had detected even the slightest trace of you for several hours. You should have seen it—I thought a brawl was going to break out on the bridge." He shook his head. "Even Ella was up in arms."

_So how did you—_

"I finally volunteered to go after you at my own risk. But even then, it took a while to convince Harley to let me go." Cid touch Leo's shoulder. "Sorry to have kept you guys waiting down there."

Leo felt his stomach twist at the thought of how close they had come to being left for dead on the watery planet. He reached up to put his hand over Cid's. _Cid,_ _I owe you my life._

Cid looked down at him. "I couldn't just stand by and do nothing," he said, taking Leo's hand in his. _Whatever's happened between us, _he continued, switching to telepathy for privacy,_ I couldn't abandon you like that. _His brown eyes looked steadily at Leo, but Leo felt something else beneath Cid's obvious concern—something familiar, yet vaguely unsettling.

Cid had been his first real friend aboard the _Shangri-la_, and somewhere along the way, Cid became his first love. Their youthful romance had been passionate and full of foolishness until it ended, and since then they had slowly rebuilt their friendship on strictly platonic terms. Everything worked fine so long as Leo pretended not to notice the way Cid looked at him sometimes, and Cid in return concealed his pain at Leo's cool denial of even the slightest advance he made. It wasn't easy, but it was what they needed to do—what Leo needed to do.

But with their hands joined, Leo could feel where the façade of friendship gave way to an undercurrent of something more, something beyond worry and concern, something greater than the mere affection of a friend. All these years later, for some reason, Cid still loved him.

Leo's eyes widened as he realized Cid was purposely letting him this far into his mind. Cid wanted him to know.

Leo pulled his hand back and averted his gaze. _Cid._

"Leo." Cid reached for Leo's hand again. There was no escaping his intentions now—the unspoken question between them was clear. But Leo didn't know how to answer. There was the allure of familiarity, the nostalgia for the relationship they had before. Would it be so bad to try again?

Abruptly a memory of Cid kissing him flashed into his mind. But the memory was clearly from Cid's perspective. Leo could see himself—a younger, thinner version of himself—responding to Cid's touch, feeling the heat of his mouth against his.

Leo yanked his hand away. _Cid! _His face was hot with anger and embarrassment. That kiss had happened in the past, but now—now it felt very wrong. He couldn't go back to being the boy who loved Cid, who was loved by Cid. Too much had changed. They were still colleagues, comrades, even close friends—but not lovers. Not now, not anymore, and not ever again.

Not even in return for having his life saved.

A pained look settled in Cid's brown eyes, and Leo felt the flash of Cid's confused disappointment before his mind retreated from Leo's telepathy. _I—misunderstood. _

_I'm sorry, Cid, _he said, wondering why it hurt so much to do this a second time.

Cid took a deep breath and let it out again. "I'm just glad you're okay." He gently ran a hand over Leo's short, blond hair. "That's all that matters."_ And I mean that, _he added.

Leo felt the truth in his words, but that didn't ease the anxious knotted feeling in his stomach.

_When I saw you down there, in the water—I— _Cid broke off. _Nevermind_, he continued. _We're not kids anymore. I just wanted to make sure you know how I feel. That's all. _He smiled.

_I'm really sorry._

_Don't be. _He managed a wry smile. _I know my competition is tough._

_Competition?_

Cid ignored the question. He stood up and pushed the stool aside. "When you're better, you can buy me a drink at the bar to make up for me hauling you out of trouble yet again. Deal?"

Leo laughed a little in spite of himself. _Deal. _

"I'll let you rest. Hurry up and get better."

_I'll do my best._

Cid looked down at him. "You always do, Leo."

Leo watched him walk away. Cid never looked back.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"So, to summarize, we were able to recover only about 30% of the shuttle; the rest of the wreckage remains on the bottom of the deep ocean trench, about 12 kilometers down."

A murmur of displeasure rippled across the circle of Elders standing around Blue's bedside as Cid finished his mission report regarding the recovery of Leo's lost shuttle.

"It's a grave risk to leave any sign of our presence there," sighed Ella, the chief historian. "Is there no way we can go back down and pick up at least some of the pieces?"

"Unfortunately, we lack the technology to dive that deep," Cid answered. "It would take several months to design a submersible we could send that far down, and even then the recovery would take a few weeks at best. In addition, atmospheric conditions remain very unstable. Just getting to the ocean will continue to be a problem—we had some trouble this last trip, too, as I mentioned."

"We should've never sent anything down to such a crazy planet in the first place," grumbled Zel. "It was all a mistake from the get-go. Now we're risking more lives just to pick up our own trash!"

"The recovery mission was in Cid's capable hands," said Harley, rising to the defense of his helmsman. "It was a calculated risk."

"What are the chances of Humans finding what's left of the wreckage?" wondered Ella. "After all, there are no indications that Humans have come anywhere near this star system yet. They may never come this way at all."

Brau, the navigation officer, laughed. "You're saying that based on the starcharts we've been using these last few years?"

"Yes. They put the border of Human space many lightyears behind us, if I'm reading them correctly."

Brau laughed again. "You are—we just haven't updated those charts in years! Old info!"

"It's true, we have been unable to hack into the UC database to get new charts, especially since we left Human territory," agreed Captain Harley, rubbing his chin with one hand. "Our assumptions are based on outdated data. The risk that Humans have or will come with this way cannot be ignored." He lowered his hand and, for a moment, his shoulders sank slightly. But then he straightened up and looked at Cid. "Thank you for your report, Cid." Cid nodded and stepped out of the circle of Elders, disappearing into the shadows.

Harley cast his gaze around the Mu gathered around Blue's bed. "Doctor, I believe you had something on the agenda."

Doctor Nordy cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him. "I've been monitoring the individuals who have been to the planet to make sure they've contracted no diseases. So far all seem well—aside from those injured in the accident, of course—but I would like to take this opportunity to mention that I had originally advised this Council to quarantine everyone upon their return. The quarantine was not enforced. Why?"

"We were in a state of emergency, Doctor," said the captain. "Besides, everyone did check in at sickbay at some point after their return."

"Yes, but on their way there, they potentially exposed the entire crew to pathogens. No crisis justifies that risk, Captain."

"The science team had ruled out a risk with 98% certainty, though," retorted the captain.

"Respectfully, Captain, I'd rather not have that 2% risk roaming freely around the ship. Blatantly ignoring the post-mission anti-contamination protocol reeks of poor management. Sir."

"Ah, well, if you ask me, the whole thing was poorly managed from start to finish!" cut in Zel, his voice rough with anger. "But what can you expect from a leader who doesn't show his face on the bridge at all and when he does bother to show up, he expects us to blindly agree to all his foolhardy commands? Hah! Everything that boy starts goes wrong—this is no different!" He glared at Jomy and then looked pointedly down at Blue's sleeping form between them.

Jomy gritted his teeth. He had stood silently by Blue's bed for the entire meeting. The meetings of the last few days had taught him it was best to keep his mouth shut for now, but he could not keep quiet with such a direct insult from Zel. "My mistakes in the past have nothing to do with this present matter," he retorted, keeping his voice level and his aura calm so that Zel wouldn't know how much his words angered him. Another rage-filled response would only give the bald old man more ammunition for future attacks.

"The past is everything to the present!" cried Zel. "What kind of leader ignores the past?"

"Chief Engineer, must I remind you that this Council approved the landing mission?" cut in Harley, using Zel's formal title. "And the responsibility for any protocol violations lies with this Council as well."

"Who's side are you on anyway, Harley?" shouted Zel. Ella put a calming hand on his shoulder but he shook her off.

"The side of our people, Zel," the captain shot back. "What other side is there?"

"To be fair," said the doctor, glancing briefly in Jomy's direction, "some of the specimens the landing teams brought back have proved interesting. There is one plant in particular that looks like we can use it to make a new kind of painkiller. The mission was more than worth it for that."

"So that's why we had to sacrifice a shuttle and nearly sent our comrades to a watery death—for a leaf that might be a painkiller?" Zel's wrinkled face shook with rage. "How reckless! How stupid!" He nearly spat the last word at Jomy.

This time Jomy kept his mouth tightly shut. There was no way he would grant Zel the satisfaction of getting another response out of Jomy. Not here—not by the bed of the man Jomy kept alive with his own energy, unbeknownst even to Zel. He would not fight here.

He stared at Zel for a long moment in silence. The old man was breathing hard, nearly chomping at the bit to have another fight with Jomy. Jomy cast a glance at Harley. His dark face was set like stone, unreadable.

"Captain, this meeting is over," said Jomy flatly. He turned away from the circle of Elders and stepped away from Blue's bed.

"What?" shrieked Zel. "I have more to say to you!"

Jomy refused to dignify the outburst with an acknowledgment.

"See! See how irresponsible he is? And to think that we should call something like that 'Soldier'!"

"Zel!" Harley's voice rang out. "You heard the Soldier—this meeting is dismissed!"

oooooooo

Jomy made his way to sickbay with the harsh words from the meeting with the Elders still ringing in his ears. What stung even more than the words, though, was the anger Zel and some of the others projected at him without even the slightest mental filter. The Elders were frustrated, angry, and scared. It made him feel like he had when he first came to the ship, when the hatred and confused anger of all the Mu was a palpable force weighing down on him, threatening to crush him. He could feel it again now, pressing down on his shoulders like a lead weight.

It was as though he had made no progress at all in his years as Soldier.

He entered sickbay and made his way to Leo's bed without even a word to the nurses on duty. He passed by the other patients with only a nod of acknowledgment. He could not spend time with them now—not in the emotional state he was in.

Leo seemed to have known he was coming. Before Jomy could say anything, Leo reached out a bare hand from his bed and caught Jomy's wrist. _What's wrong, Soldier?_

Jomy felt his chest tighten. Leo always understood. In a ship full of mistrust and anger, it was always Leo who reached out to him and made sure he was okay.

_Everything_, he answered, making sure only Leo could hear. He slid out of Leo's grasp and pulled a stool close to Leo's bed. Brushing back his cape, he sat down.

_Another meeting with the Council?_

Jomy nodded.

Leo let out a sigh. Then he reached out again, this time to tousle Jomy's hair. The familiar gesture brought a slight smile to Jomy's lips. Already some of the tension eased from his shoulders.

_I wish I could help you,_ said Leo, his eyes fixed steadily on Jomy.

_You do. More than you know. _Jomy let out a sigh, as if that would clear the bad feelings in the air. _Just being near you calms me down._

_Perhaps I should go to the Council meetings with you to help cool your anger then_, joked Leo.

Jomy smiled a little, appreciating Leo's attempt to lighten the mood, but then he wondered if it would actually be possible to bring Leo to Council meetings. After all, the captain allowed Cid to join periodically—not just for mission reports. And other Elders and senior officers had been allowed to attend on occasion. "You know, maybe that's not a bad idea."

_I don't think they'd be very happy if you started bringing people like me along_, said Leo, his tone still light.

Jomy mulled the idea over a bit. "You're probably right." Still, he felt that the subject was worth discussing with Harley once things had calmed down again. But for now, there were more important things to worry about. "How are you feeling today, Leo?"

_Better, thank you_. That was his answer every day. Jomy wondered if it was true.

"You know, before you left, you promised to show me what you saw on the planet. And when you get out of here, you still need to report to Blue."

Leo's face clouded. _I would share, but I don't want you to experience what happened._

"You could show me the good parts?"

_I—I'm sorry, Soldier, maybe when more time has passed. It took a lot out of me just to share it with the team investigating the crash._

Jomy realized he had overstepped his bounds a little, pressing an injured man to show him painful memories for no reason other than his own curiousity. "I'm sorry. I understand. Don't worry about it." Telepathically he added, _I just wanted to feel like I was flying with you again. It's been a while. _The only time they had flown in the same aircraft was on Ataraxia, before Jomy had become the Soldier.

_Was the last time really so much fun? _The levity had returned to Leo's voice. Jomy realized with relief that he really must be feeling better if he was in such good spirits.

_Ah, yes, being chased by missiles was really something else, _he mused.But with his words, he sent Leo his memory of seeing Leo strapped into the cockpit, hand extended in invitation to Jomy through the open hatch. It was the first time they had officially met.

_Those clothes! _Leo chuckled. The Human disguise Leo had worn when he rescued Jomy—with those thick glasses and that bulky sweater—made him look like a different person.

Jomy smiled, glad to have distracted Leo from negative thoughts of the recent shuttle incident. _ I thought you looked cool_, he admitted, thinking back to the day Leo rescued him. _Flying around in a fighter like a badass pilot and all. _Even in his confusion at the time, he had been impressed by Leo's composure. And his fighter. It was a shallow first impression, but it amused him, looking back at it now.

_And now what do I look like? _Leo's eyes glimmered with amusement. _An uncool man on his sickbed?_

_No. _Jomy reached out and put a hand over one of Leo's. _You look like_— Suddenly his words faltered. How could he describe what Leo looked like to him? Even lying here in bed, with his blond hair disheveled and his white patient's gown wrinkled, the man seemed calm and composed as always. His bright eyes projected strength, and his lips curved in a gentle smile. His aura was warm and soft, like sunlight filtered through the trees. Leo had all the things Jomy felt lacking in himself, and he was all the things Jomy admired.

He was Leo. He was perfect.

Jomy's hand tightened over Leo's, and he rose to his feet. Leo looked up at him, startled, but Jomy smiled down at him. The impulse that had driven him this far pushed him further, and he leaned down, bringing his face close to Leo's. Feeling his cheeks redden as he did so, Jomy whispered into Leo's ear: "You look beautiful."

When he pulled away, he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of a slight flush of embarrassment coloring Leo's face. A rush of excitement flooded through him at Leo's reaction.

_Y-you flatter me, Soldier. _Leo could not meet his eyes.

"I only tell the truth." Jomy squeezed his hand. _And I miss you. I need you. I— _He stopped himself, suddenly afraid of the words that had almost slipped from his mind so carelessly.

Carefully, he let go of Leo's hand and stepped away from Leo's bed, as if putting some physical distance between them would help him contain his feelings. He had nearly let his impulsiveness get the better of him again.

"I should make my rounds with the other patients," he said, wanting suddenly to excuse himself and get away from Leo before he did anything else. "I'll let you get some rest." He smiled broadly and prayed Leo wouldn't know just how uncomfortable he felt.

But Leo simply nodded and said, _Thank you for coming to see me, Soldier. _His smile was the same as always, but his gaze searched Jomy's eyes. Now it was Jomy's turn to avert his eyes. _It—it means a lot to me._

"Um, well, I'll be back later to say goodnight." Leo nodded. Then Jomy turned away.

For an instant, he thought he felt Leo brush against his mind, quietly, questioningly. Before he could react, the telepathic touch vanished, as though he had merely imagined it. Perhaps he had.

He walked away from Leo's bed without another word, but inside, his heart was pounding.

oooooooo

After leaving sickbay, Jomy set out to meet with his last patient for the day: Soldier Blue. He was earlier than usual—it was only late afternoon—but the Elders would have all left the Blue Room by now and there was nowhere else he wanted to go.

But when he stepped off the elevator onto the raised path leading to Blue's bed, he was startled to find someone else already by Blue's side. He was so used to coming here alone late at night that he hadn't even considered that he might be intruding on someone else's private time with the sleeping Soldier. He hoped he could retreat back the way he came without anyone noticing, but the figure seated on Blue's bed looked up and greeted him.

"Jomy."

She did not use his title here, and he understood why.

He made his way to the bed. "Physis." He looked down at Blue, then looked over to where Physis sat perched on the edge of the bed. She kept a hand on top of the thick blanket covering Blue's body, close to where his heart would be. "I'm sorry for startling you," he said, feeling a little uncomfortable at the rather intimate scene. He wondered how long she had been here.

"I did not expect you to come so early." A hint of displeasure crept into her voice. But she was right—they had an agreement where the doctor would check on Blue in the morning, Physis would visit him in the afternoon, and Jomy would go see him late at night. The idea had been that this arrangement best suited their respective schedules, but Jomy had realized early on that it kept awkward meetings like this at a minimum.

"How is he?"

"No change. Has something happened to bring you here at this hour?"

"No, I was just—passing by."

"It doesn't seem like you would pass by this place to get anywhere else on the ship." The veiled suggestion caught him by surprise. He knew he had interrupted Physis during a private moment, but she seemed genuinely upset with him.

"I was lost in thought and didn't realize anyone else was already here," he admitted.

"Is that so?" Her tone was distinctly cold and clipped now.

Jomy felt a frustrated anger rise up in him. Everyone seemed to be questioning his motives today, even Physis, who was usually a source of comfort and support when the Elders turned against him. But even his presence here irritated her now, for some reason. He was so tired of feeling unwanted everywhere he went. "Look, I'm sorry!" he blurted out. "I'll leave you alone. I didn't mean to intrude on your time with him—I'll come back later when you're done."

"I would appreciate that. I'm sure you understand how important privacy is—after all, you value it so when it is just you two Type Blues alone here together."

"Right, okay then—" He paused. There had been a special emphasis on the end of that sentence, and he thought he had caught a snippet of an unusual emotion from her before she caught herself and cut it off. "Wait, what?"

Physis rose to her feet. Her unseeing eyes were closed as always, but her mouth was set in a firm line. _I know what you do here_, she said, switching to telepathy.

All the anger drained out of him, leaving instead a cold, nervous dread in the pit of his stomach. "You…know?"

_I know that I am no Soldier. I am no Type Blue. _She began walking around the bed towards Jomy. _There are certain things I can never share with Blue because of that. _She reached Jomy's side. _But I accept my place._

"Physis, what are you—" Suddenly Physis embraced him, pulling him almost painfully against her. With her embrace came an unexpected and vivid mental image of the Blue Room lighting up with a ghostly blue glow that was unmistakably his psionic energy being released in the dark as he bent down to kiss Blue.

With a start, he knew why she had switched to the most intimate telepathy. She was trying to preserve his secret, even here where few people dared to enter.

She knew. Jomy's face flushed. The woman who loved Blue knew that he kissed Blue every night. The thought made his heart pound with—guilt? Shame? Fear? He didn't know.

He squirmed out of her embrace. His face was burning. "How long have you known?"

"Only a few days. I also did not mean to intrude."

He remembered how Leo had accidentally stumbled upon the same scene and learned Jomy's secret. He cursed himself inwardly for not being more careful when the risk of others discovering his actions was obviously too high to be ignored. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he said. He looked down, struggling to find a way to apologize for his years of secrecy. He hadn't thought about what he would do if someone other than Leo learned of his nightly ritual because he was an idiot who thought no one else would ever know.

_I realize I can never be what you are to him_, she said, her voice loud and clear in his head. _But I ask that you leave me at least this time with him. _The dark emotion underlying her words touched his mind again, and with a shock he recognized it for what it was: jealousy.

He looked up at her, surprised that she could even feel that way. She stood before him, golden hair and lavender dress flowing down over her and pooling at her feet. She was beautiful, but he saw now that she could be cold in her beauty, cold and hard and distant. It was clear why Blue had called her a goddess.

But even a goddess could be jealous.

"I'm sorry," he said again, realizing now just how much he must have upset her. "I couldn't tell anyone." When this had all begun, he had been young, just a boy. Blue had been a dream come to life, a hero out of nowhere. He had been in awe of this man who had swept into his life and turned his entire world upside down, this great man who had only kind words and warm embraces for him even as all of humanity shunned him. He had clung to Blue when he had lost everything else, and they shared things neither of them had even dreamed possible until they found each other.

And he had loved Blue—perhaps even in the way that Physis feared. But because he had been inside Blue's mind and memories, Jomy knew from the beginning that any feelings he might have for this brave man hundreds of times his senior could never be fully returned. Even though Blue loved him in his own way, his heart belonged to another—to a goddess. Jomy knew he could never compete, even if for a very short time he had clung to his boyish crush and hoped he might.

But there was no way he could explain these feelings adequately with words. Physis would only misunderstand him if he tried. Instead, he reached for Physis's arms and pulled her abruptly close, just as she had done to him. _ I want you to understand_, he said, opening his mind and letting all his thoughts spill directly into her mind as his arms tightened around her. _I loved him, yes, and I still do because he is the greatest man I know—but I am not your rival!_ _I am only doing what I can to keep him alive._ He showed her the memory from Blue's own mind that had given him the idea of transferring energy through a kiss. He wanted to make sure she understood what he did to Blue and why. Only then did he let her go.

Physis staggered back and raised a hand to her lips. "Unbelievable—he—I can't—"

He suddenly felt terrible for having forced his thoughts upon her, even if that was the only way he could communicate clearly. "I'm sorry," he said again, apologizing for his actions as much as the realization she was having now about how poor Blue's condition actually would be without Jomy's aid.

"I thought I was doing my best to help him…but you are doing so much more, Jomy." She clasped her hands tightly to her breast and seemed to shrink into herself.

"You do help him." An idea struck him out of nowhere, and he felt silly for never considering it before. "Please, let me show you. Stay with me and let me show you what I do. Join me this time."

"Right now?"

"Yes, please," he begged, knowing this would be the only chance to convince her of his honest motives and to get her to join him. If his idea worked, he might never have to kiss Blue again because he would finally wake up. "Join me. Just once."

Physis pondered his words for a long moment. But then she lowered her hands to her sides and nodded. "Very well. Just once."


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Match your thoughts to mine." Standing by Blue's bedside, Jomy offered his hand to Physis. Physis grasped his hand and opened her mind to his, hesitantly. Jomy smiled, pleased by her response. "Usually we do this the other way around, don't we?"

"If it's for Blue's sake…" She squeezed Jomy's hand a little.

Jomy nodded and turned to look down at Blue. Then he closed his eyes and called upon his energy. He sensed rather than saw Physis's surprise, but her hand did not let go of his. A feeling of warmth came over him, enveloping him from head to toe.

"Good," he murmured, feeling the surprisingly strong harmony between him and Physis. If he didn't know better, he would have thought that her psionic energy was on the same blue wavelength as his. "Be careful. I don't want to take too much of your energy." It would be all too easy for her to lose herself, connected as they were now. He would have to stay in total control for this experiment to work.

He opened his eyes and saw the world tinged blue with the light flickering over them both. "When I say 'now,' share your vision of Terra, like you always do. We'll go from there."

She nodded.

"Ready?"

She nodded again.

Careful to not let go of Physis's hand, Jomy bent down over Soldier Blue. Knowing that Physis was present made him self-conscious, but he reminded himself that he had nothing to hide. He brought his lips down to Blue's. The moment he felt a spark of energy leaving him for Blue, he sent the signal to Physis: _Now!_

Physis's vision of Terra poured into his mind vividly as any other time she had shared her special gift with him. First came the disc of the Milky Way, gleaming brilliant white. Then, in a rush, all the planets flashed past them, one after another, until finally the sapphire orb of all their dreams and desires rose up before them: Terra.

But this time the vision went further than before: tumbling through pure white clouds, they fell from the sky and came to rest—gently, like feathers—on Terra in an endless field of green. They floated over the grass towards a single towering tree so massive that it had to be thousands of years old.

And lying there in the shade beneath its heavy boughs was a silver-haired man with ruby eyes.

"Blue!" They rushed over and threw themselves into the grass beside him, Physis to Blue's left, Jomy to his right.

"Jomy, Physis—is it really you?"

"It's us!" cried Jomy, overcome with emotion. He had missed Blue's voice so much. "We finally found you again!"

Blue pulled them both close. "Ah, how I've missed you!"

"Soldier Blue…" Physis put a hand on his chest and nestled closer to him with an awed smile on her face.

"Is this Terra?" asked Blue, eyes fixed on the leafy branches and deep blue sky above.

Jomy hesitated. "Yes. But only the one in our hearts."

Blue closed his eyes. "I figured as much." He smiled. "Still, this is nice. I could stay here forever, just like this."

Jomy agreed wholeheartedly, but he could not forget why he had come here. "We need you, Blue, out there on the _Shangri-la._ Can you come back with us? Can you wake up?"

Blue turned to look at Jomy. His face was devoid of all signs of exhaustion. No trace of sadness shadowed his eyes. Jomy had never seen him look so young—so alive. It was Blue's true form, the way Blue still saw himself in his mind's eye.

"I can't," said Blue. His arm tightened around Jomy. "Not yet."

"But why?"

"It's too far for me to travel." He smiled as if this admission was no cause for concern. "Give me time. I will come back when I can. Until then, I know the ship is safe in your hands."

Panic welled up in Jomy. They had come so far, come here into the very depths of Blue's mind and brought his consciousness back to the point that he could speak with them. For him to refuse now—

"I've given you time! I've given you all the time I might have to spare," said Jomy, desperate now. Tears stung his eyes. "Every night, I—" He stopped. He was close to losing his last bit of composure.

Blue turned to plant a kiss first on the top of Jomy's head, then on Physis's forehead. "Thank you both. I appreciate all you do for me. But you need to go back. It's too dangerous for you to keep this up."

"Soldier, is there nothing we can do?" asked Physis plaintively.

Blue shook his head. He lowered his voice. "Wait for me, my goddess." He moved slightly, and Jomy wondered if he kissed her again, but on the lips this time. "Wait for me," Blue murmured. Then he turned back to Jomy, and his voice grew harder. "You can do it, Jomy. You will guide our people down the correct path. You have everything you need to do so. Believe in yourself."

Jomy thought of the blue planet the Mu had just visited and how much he had believed in that mission only to have it end in failure. He opened his mouth to tell Blue about it, but Blue cut him off with a shake of the head. "There's no time." Already the light around them was dimming. Darkness fell with alarming swiftness here. The tree was gone, the grass had vanished. "Go. Now."

"Blue! Soldier Blue!"

With a warm smile in the darkness, Blue whispered, "See you soon." He closed his eyes, and the world vanished.

With a gasp, Jomy opened his eyes and found himself lying half-collapsed over Blue's bed. He pushed himself up with great effort but then slid heavily all the way down to floor. Physis already sat there, her hands clenching the fabric of her dress.

"Blue," she whispered. "Blue!"

Jomy managed to throw an arm over the bedside to lever himself into a better position where he could rest his back and head against the bed. "So close," he murmured breathlessly. "We were so close! Damn it!" His fist pounded the floor. "Damn it, Blue," he cried, "if you won't come back for me, can't you at least come back for the woman you love?" Hot tears stung the corners of his eyes; he angrily blinked them away.

"Jomy!"

Jomy looked over at Physis. "I'm sorry, Physis. I thought he would do it. For you, if no one else." Yet another of his brilliant ideas had failed.

"Jomy…"

He closed his eyes—they were too heavy to keep open. He felt a cool hand brush his cheek, bringing with it a strange mixture of concern and gratitude from Physis. At least one part of his plan had worked—he could be sure now that Physis wouldn't harbor any jealousy towards him for what he had done to Blue each night.

But now he also knew that his efforts to revive Blue would be futile as long as Blue himself did not want to wake up.

"We will wait for him," she said softly. "He waited for hundreds of years for us to come into the world. These years of rest are but a moment to him."

Jomy wanted to nod in agreement, but his head felt to heavy to move.

"One question, if I may ask."

"Go on."

"Does Leo know?"

Jomy cracked open one eye. Physis was standing beside him, a worried expression on her face. He shut his eye again. "Know of what?"

"Blue's condition, and your treatment of it. Leo was Blue's assistant until you arrived, after all."

"Let's keep this between us, for now." Physis did not need to know that Leo had known about this arrangement for years already. "Can you make it back to your room alright?" he asked after a moment. He was in no state to escort the blind woman anywhere, but she fortunately did not appear to be as affected by the energy transfer as he had been.

"Yes, of course. But you do not look well. I'll call the doctor…" Her voice trailed off.

"No doctor. I'm fine. I just need to be alone right now."

He sensed her hesitation, but then she murmured her agreement. _Thank you for trying, Jomy_, she said as she left him alone with Blue.

Jomy leaned back against Blue's bed. He couldn't move. He felt empty and numb. He wanted to sleep, to close his eyes for a hundred years and forget about everything.

"It took you 300 years to feel this awful," he murmured to Blue, "but I'm done in less than 20. What kind of Soldier am I?" He opened his eyes slowly and blinked away tears he hadn't known were there. "You love her," he stated flatly, "yet you won't come back for her. Why? Because you're the Soldier? Because the Soldier must think only of the greater good? Because the Soldier can't waste his energy on things like mere love?"

He was tired, so very tired.

_Tell me, Blue,_ _do you really want me to end up like you?_

oooooooo

Jomy awoke by Blue's bedside. His entire body ached and his muscles were stiff. His eyes felt gritty. Weakly, he tried to move, but then he felt something on his head. Reaching up, he found that sometime during the night, Soldier Blue had somehow placed a hand on his head, as if to pat his hair reassuringly.

"Blue?" Jomy turned and struggled to his feet so that he could get a better look at the man in the bed behind him. "Are you awake?"

But Blue was sound asleep, once again lost in the depths of his unconsciousness.

Jomy stared down at Blue, wondering how it could be that the man was so alive in his heart while his body seemed so disturbingly still. But just knowing that Blue was close enough that Jomy could still reach him gave him hope. "Fine. I'll wait for you." He ran a hand over Blue's head. "But don't expect me to stop helping you, either, you stubborn old man!"

He left Blue and slowly made his way back to the main decks of the ship. The halls of the ship were mostly deserted, which made him suspect it was nighttime already. When they weren't on high alert, only a skeleton crew kept the ship running during the late night hours.

With a start he realized he had completely forgotten to say goodnight to Leo. He always said goodnight to Leo.

But today he had forgotten.

Jomy hurried down the corridor until he came to a stop in front of the entrance to sickbay. There was always someone on duty, but the sign on the door indicated that visiting hours for the day had long since ended. He reached out his mind, letting it pass through the walls into the sickbay until he reached the nurse. _This is the Soldier. Can you let me in?_

_It's after hours, Soldier. Is something wrong?_

_I need to give Leo something. It's important. I'll be careful not to disturb the other patients._

_But—_

_Please. I'll be quick._

The sickbay doors slid open in front of him with a soft hiss. He smiled. _Thank you, _he told the nurse as he stepped inside. _Would you mind leaving us alone for just a minute?_

The nurse hesitated, but then his gaze fell to the red cape fastened to Jomy's shoulders. He nodded and moved toward the door. _But only for one minute, Soldier! _

_Thank you. I appreciate it. _Sometimes rank still had its privileges.

He waited for the doors to close behind the nurse, then he quietly padded his way across the darkened room to the corner where Leo's bed stood.

Leo lay on his back, wearing only the white patient's gown. Leo's eyes were closed, but his mouth was set in a thin line, and his brows furrowed. The dim lights of the medical monitors by his head twinkled slowly. A bundle of tubes and wires connected to the bed near Leo's left arm. Jomy saw how his fingertips twitched slightly.

Wondering whether he should wake Leo or let him be, Jomy reached out and held a hand just above Leo's forehead. He immediately caught the dream in Leo's mind.

Black, cold water roared down all around him.

He pulled his hand away and the fragment of the dream vanished. He blinked. There was no water. But Leo was still dreaming of it.

Jomy squared his shoulders and put his hand over Leo's face again. This time he let Leo's dream pull him all the way in.

Water pouring over his head, into his mouth and nose, stinging his eyes, filling his ears. A flash of lightning, a shock of pain, and more water, more water than all the oceans of the Terra, water everywhere, cold and unrelentingly, pushing down into his lungs, crushing his ribs, squeezing the life out of him.

Gasping, Jomy staggered a step backwards, away from the bed. He could see only dark, murky water, and there, in the distance, Leo floating lifelessly before him. Jomy could not move, could not breathe, could not cry out. The water pushed him deeper down, away from Leo, away from life.

Jomy stumbled against a metal medical cart. The painful bump jarred him free of the last clinging tendrils of Leo's dream. "Ow," he winced, rubbing his hip. Then he looked back up at Leo in his bed.

Not all those images had come from Leo's dream. The last part had a flashback to his own memories of Ataraxia. The nightmare had been reality then, when both he and Leo were ambushed by Humans and forced to leap into the water in a futile attempt to escape.

And after all that, after Jomy, Leo, and Blue had safely returned to the ship, Leo had been confined to sickbay just as he was now. Jomy had come to visit him then, too, in a pathetic attempt to apologize—and because he had nowhere else to go.

Jomy's throat tightened. All the things he asked of Leo—traveling with him to Ataraxia, ordering him into battle, sending him to a dangerous planet—ended up making Leo risk life and limb for him. And yet Leo never complained, never blamed him for any of it. He hid the scars and the trauma so well that sometimes Jomy forgot the pain he had caused his dear friend time and time again.

He relied constantly on Leo, yet Leo asked for nothing in return.

Jomy was the Soldier. He knew that he needed to consider the needs of all Mu before he acted. But right now he wanted to do something incredibly selfish. Blue might be strong enough to sleep for years despite the desperate calls of his loved ones, but Jomy was not as patient. Jomy could not wait and do nothing. He wanted Leo back by his side now. He wanted to be as close to Leo as he had been before the accident confined him to sickbay—no, that was a lie. He wanted to be even closer to him than before. He wanted so many things, and the universe seemed bent on denying them all because he was a weak and useless Soldier.

Let Blue sleep for decades if he thought it best. Jomy would act now lest what little joy there was in this life passed him by.

All he wanted was happiness—for himself, for Blue, for everyone, but especially for Leo.

Jomy returned to Leo's bed and placed a hand directly on Leo's forehead. He carefully blocked out the lashing strands of the nightmare, pushing them aside. He found Leo's mind raw and open, exposed by the subconscious horror of the dream. He knew he was trespassing, violating a taboo, but he didn't care. He summoned another memory, a happier moment they had shared, and gently sent it into Leo's mind:

Sunshine. Sunshine and grass and a crisp rush of air smelling of rich earth. Trees lining the road. The crunch of gravel, the whirring of pedals. A bicycle. Jomy's arms around Leo's hips. Jomy clinging to Leo's back. Leo's legs rising and falling, propelling the bike forward, down the hill, to freedom, to safety—to home.

It was a simple dream of happiness—one that Jomy had treasured for many years.

Keeping one hand lightly on Leo's forehead, Jomy brought his other hand to Leo's chin and tilted it up slightly. Then he bent over Leo and lowered his face down until it was almost touching Leo's. With the whisper of Leo's breath against his cheek, Jomy drew upon his energy for the second time that day. The faintest blue aura formed around him.

Then he kissed Leo, softly so as not to wake him, but long enough for the energy to transfer to his injured friend.

"Get well soon," he murmured as he pulled back. Leo's face was calmer already, his brows relaxed, his breathing more even.

Jomy felt the chill that always came after the energy transfer, but there was a strange heat on his cheeks. He raised a hand to his lips as it dawned on him just what he had done.

Leo's lips had been warm, and they made Jomy want to kiss them again, kiss them longer, kiss them when Leo was awake and could see just who it was who loved him.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Leo was discharged from sickbay several days earlier than expected. "I knew you were tough, Leo, but you really are something else," marveled the doctor. "It's like you healed up completely over night."

_It's all thanks to your care, Doctor._

The doctor quirked a bushy eyebrow. "Well, take care of yourself. I don't want to see you back here anytime soon."

_Yes, sir!_

"And give my regards to the Soldier."

_I will. Thank you. _He turned to leave sickbay, and marveled at how wonderful it felt to move about freely. He took a deep breath and let it out again. He was alive. He was well. He felt better than he had in a long time.

He couldn't wait to tell Jomy.

The sickbay door opened before him. And there stood the Soldier, leaning against the corridor wall with arms casually folded across his chest. Leo stopped in his tracks.

_Soldier?_

"Well, well, there you are, Leo. Took you long enough."

_How did you know?_

Jomy narrowed his eyes. "You think anything on this ship happens without my knowledge?" He pushed away from the wall. "Just who do you think I am?" But then Jomy laughed, and suddenly Leo found himself wrapped up in an exuberant hug. "Oh, Leo, I'm so glad you're better!"

Leo smiled and returned the hug. _Me, too. _

Jomy pulled away and asked, "So, uh, Leo, what are your plans for the day?"

_I'm officially fit for duty again, so I am completely at your service._

"Then can we just hang out and do nothing all day?"

_What? Nothing?_

"Nothing! No work. No stress. Just nothing."He brushed his blond bangs out of his eyes. "Just you and me. How about it?" Jomy's tone was light, but Leo heard the plea behind those words. Jomy shouldered a heavy burden as Soldier, and there were probably things that Jomy hadn't told him out of consideration for his weakened condition these past few weeks. But it was Leo's job to find out what the Soldier needed and to provide it for him. If the Soldier wanted some quiet time to relax, then Leo would make sure he got that.

_I'd be honored to spend a day doing nothing with you, Soldier. Where shall we start?_

"How about some lunch?"

_That sounds good. I haven't eaten yet._

Jomy smiled. "Then come with me! I know just the place."

oooooooo

Jomy led him to the ship's central park beneath the bridge. They made their way up a grassy rise at the edge of the park. Jomy stopped to rummage around in some bushes. He emerged a moment later with a bundled-up, gray blanket and a white storage container. Before Leo could ask what he was doing, Jomy had spread the blanket out on the grass and sat down on it, placing the white box beside him. He patted the empty space next to him on the blanket and said, "Come on, Leo. Picnic time!"

Leo laughed and joined Jomy on the blanket. _Well, this is a surprise!_

Jomy opened the box and pulled out a thermos, which he passed to Leo. "Tea for you. And here, some sandwiches. And fruit salad." He handed the items to Leo, then took out some utensils and two mugs. He set them on the blanket between them. Leo wondered just how much advance notice the Soldier must have had of Leo's release from sickbay to arrange all this. Perhaps the doctor was in on it.

Leo unscrewed the top of the thermos. The refreshing scent of mint wafted up. _Tea for you, Soldier? _

"Yes, please."

Leo poured the hot tea into the two cups and handed one to Jomy. Then he put the thermos down and took a sip of tea. It was sweet but invigorating. _It's delicious._

"Good." Jomy was parceling out the sandwiches onto small plates. Leo watched him idly.

_So we're really doing nothing today?_

Jomy brushed his hair out of his eyes again. Leo made a mental note to schedule a hair cut for the Soldier tomorrow. "That's right. Got a problem with that?"

_Not at all. _He took the plate Jomy handed him.

They ate their sandwiches, chatting about nothing and everything. Leo found himself entranced by Jomy's smile, his animated gestures, the glint in his eyes as he laughed about the latest pranks the children had played on Professor Hillman. It felt so nice to sit here in the sunlight with a cup of tea in his hand, his best friend at his side, and no agenda, no mission on his mind. And compared to the narrow confines of sickbay, even this small, enclosed park inside the _Shangri-la _felt vast and wonderfully open. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so free.

"Are you listening, Leo?"

Leo set his cup down carefully on the blanket. _Not really_, he admitted.

"What?"

Leo smiled at Jomy's surprised face. _I am simply happy to be by your side again. _He reached out a hand and placed it over Jomy's right hand. The gloves they wore reduced their telepathic sensitivity, but the physical contact was still enough to let Leo share his feelings easily with Jomy.

Jomy's hand curled into a fist beneath Leo's hand, but Leo did not release it. _This peace, this warmth, this happiness—it is only when I am with you, Soldier, that I feel this way._

"Even in the midst of this giant mess I've gotten us into?"

_Even then. _He smiled. _Even in the very beginning, when you were nothing but trouble, I felt this way._

"You mean, even onAtaraxia?"

Leo nodded. _Last night I had a dream about Ataraxia. Do you remember how we escaped from your school on that old bicycle? I dreamed about that. _

Jomy's eyes widened. "Was it—a nice dream?"

_Yes. That was the first time I was able to read your heart. The first time I felt your warmth. _Young Jomy's thoughts had been chaotic with confusion and fear, but as his anxiety gave way, there had been only warmth, love, and longing for his family. In Leo's mind, Jomy's heart had appeared full of light.

Jomy's face reddened. "I had no control over anything, you know. I was just stuck on the back of that bike with you."

Leo laughed. _ But because of that, we became friends. And even now, your heart has not changed._

"Are you sure about that?" Jomy pulled his hand out from beneath Leo's, but then he shifted on the blanket to move closer to Leo. His hand reached up to touch Leo's cheek. "Tell me, can you read my heart now, too?"

Startled to find himself so close to Jomy, Leo reached out tentatively with his telepathy but it bumped into the invisible wall encasing Jomy's mind. _No. Now you shield it like any adult. _Considering how wild and uncontrolled Jomy's telepathy had been when he was younger, it was quite the accomplishment.

_Would you like to read it? _asked Jomy, switching to telepathy as he leaned closer. Leo could see his own reflection in Jomy's green eyes. It was just like that strange moment yesterday when Jomy had leaned over his bed in sickbay and told him he was beautiful. Jomy's eyes had looked like this then—a dark emerald green—and they had been this close then. If it had been anyone else, Leo would have thought Jomy wanted to—

"Ah, would you look at that!" A loud, gruff voice interrupted them, and Jomy abruptly pulled away from Leo. Leo looked up and saw Zel, shouting at them from the path cutting through the center of the park. "Is that what I think it is? The so-called Soldier having a picnic in the middle of the day when we could be attacked by Humans at any moment?"

"Zel!" Ella was with him. "Not so loud, please."

"I'll be as loud as I want! Not like that do-nothing brat listens to me anyway!"

"Zel!"

The old engineer shook his fist at Jomy. "Is this what you cancelled today's meeting for? A picnic? Don't think I won't bring this up at the next meeting, Soldier! I'm not done with you yet!"

Jomy rose to his feet. With a sweep of his hand, he flipped his cape out for dramatic effect. "I hear you, Zel. I'd be happy to continue this discussion more quietly, if you'd care to join our picnic."

Leo picked up the container with the remaining sandwiches and stood up as well. _There's enough to share._

Zel clenched his fist and let out a growl before turning on his heel and storming away down the park path. Ella nodded politely at both of them before hurrying after her friend.

They watched them go, then Jomy sat back down on the blanket, muttering a curse. Leo sat down beside him and offered him another sandwich. Jomy took it and ate it with big, angry bites. Leo poured some more tea for both of them and quietly watched the Soldier. Zel had disappeared, but a tension remained in Jomy's posture.

_Is he always like that now?_ Leo asked after a little while.

Jomy nodded.

_You shouldn't antagonize him further._

"My very existence antagonizes him."

Leo fell silent. He hadn't realized just how much Jomy's relationship with the Elders had deteriorated. Zel's words were outright mutinous, and while he was perhaps the most outspoken of the Elders, his open disdain for the Soldier suggested that Zel had support from other members of the crew. Even Ella had not disagreed with his words—she had merely tried to keep them from reaching the Soldier's ears.

_Have you spoken to the captain about this?_

"Not directly. Not yet. But he sees what's going on."

_Maybe I should go with you to the next council meeting. _He cast a sidelong glance at Jomy to gauge his reaction. _I know we were only joking about it yesterday, but perhaps I could go as an observer…a neutral party._

Jomy looked up. "Maybe. But you'd hardly be viewed as neutral. And you'd really end up caught up in this in-fighting."

_I'm your assistant, Soldier. I'm already caught up in everything you do._

Jomy snorted. "I know. And you're right. But let's not worry about this now. I want to enjoy the rest of our lazy, do-nothing day!" He picked up the fruit salad container and offered Leo a spoon. "How about dessert?"

oooooooo

After their picnic, Leo and Jomy went for a leisurely stroll through the ship, ending their walk at the observation deck. They sat down in some of the armchairs to take in the view for a while. Leo carefully avoided talking about anything work-related, and Jomy seemed happy to chatter on about the training he'd been doing with Harley lately. As the day drew to an end, though, the observation deck began to fill up with crewmembers looking to relax at the bar or to dance to some light music with friends. Leo worried Cid might show up, and Jomy seemed distracted by the increasing noise, so Leo suggested they head back to the residential area and call it a night.

"Good idea. I'll walk you to your room, Leo."

The offer came as a bit of a surprise. Usually it was Leo who escorted Jomy to his quarters, but Leo would not protest the role reversal today. Together they walked to Leo's quarters.

"I always forget how empty your room is, Leo," observed Jomy as they stepped through the door.

_Empty? _Leo glanced around his quarters. The standard-issue furniture was simple but functional, and the muted pastels and whites of the décor matched the tone of the rest of the ship. The bed was neatly made, and the small table and the counters were spotlessly clean. A lone succulent grew unobtrusively on one of the half-empty bookshelves. He wondered he had watered it while he was in sickbay. Everything was just as Leo had left it. _I think it's just neater than yours, Soldier._

"Well, that's true!"

_Do you have a little more time to do nothing tonight, Soldier?_

"Sure, why not."

_Good. _Leo walked over to the closet and opened it, trying to remember where he had last put his deck of playing cards.

"Leo?"

Leo turned and found Jomy suddenly at his side, leaning against the closet door and peering at him with big green eyes.

_W-what is it?_

"Are you really feeling better?"

Leo's face softened. Jomy really was worried about him. He placed a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. _I'm fine, Soldier._

"And you'd tell me if you have any problems? Any lingering aftereffects from the incident?"

Leo held Jomy's gaze for a moment, then let go of his shoulder and turned back to the closet. He picked up a small black bag from the floor and began rummaging through it. _Of course I would_, he said. He could feel Jomy's eyes on him.

"Alright, then."

Relieved that Jomy let the topic drop, Leo pulled his deck of cards out of the bag and offered it to Jomy. _Care to join me for a game or two?_

Jomy grinned. "How could I refuse?" But then his smile faded. "I should go see Blue soon, though. So let's just do one round."

Leo nodded and gestured for Jomy to take a seat at the small table for two. They sat down and Leo began shuffling the deck, enjoying the satisfying feeling of the cards fluttering against each other in his hands. _Speaking of Soldier Blue, how is he doing?_

"Same as always." He paused. "Yesterday, Physis and I managed to reach him, briefly."

Leo folded the cards. _What? How?_

Jomy ignored the question. "We confirmed that he can still hear us. I wanted to tell him about everything, about the trip to planet, all that, but there was no time." He sighed. "You should go see him yourself. I can promise you that he'll hear you, even if he doesn't answer."

Leo tried to process exactly what the Soldier had just revealed to him. Slowly, he began dealing out the cards. Blue was alive. That they had known. Blue was conscious, to a certain extent, as they had hoped. And Leo was not surprised that Physis and Jomy were experimenting with reaching him, even though this was the first he had heard of such joint efforts. But there was one questing nagging Leo.

_Soldier, are you still—supporting him?_

Jomy began picking up the cards that came sliding across the table to him. He avoided Leo's eyes. "Yeah, well, of course I am."

_And—Lady Physis?_

"She knows what I'm doing."

Leo's hands froze. He set the undealt cards down on the table and leaned back in his chair, letting the information sink in. Given Physis's extraordinary powers, he should not be surprised that she knew that Jomy was literally providing life support to Blue. _Since when?_

"Since yesterday. Or maybe a little while before that."

_Soldier!_

"I know! I didn't plan on telling her yet, but she figured it out and I had no choice but to admit it."

Leo wondered what Physis thought of the whole thing. _Soldier, there might be problems if too many people learn the truth. _

"I know. Don't worry. She won't say anything."

_How is she taking it?_

"Um, well, you know. Alright, I guess."

_Does she know that I know?_

"No. I don't think so."

Leo let out a sigh and picked up the cards again. _I leave your side for a few weeks and the next thing I know you are conspiring with others and doing all sorts of other crazy things. _He dealt the last cards.

"And I'm telling you not to worry. I've got it all under control."

Leo hoped he was right.

oooooooo

In the morning, Leo went to the main aircraft hangar to report for duty as flight instructor. To his surprise, his colleagues and students greeted him with cheers and a shower of confetti when he arrived.

"Welcome back, Leo!"

"Our ace pilot is back!"

"Hurray!"

The attention embarrassed him. He politely extricated himself from the group, rounded up his students, and shepherded them to the classroom for an impromptu meeting. He wasn't scheduled to teach that day, but he wanted to find out what the substitute teacher had covered during his absence. The students were only too eager to prove how much they had learned, and Leo found himself wishing that they would always show such dedication to their studies. But he looked forward to returning as their teacher full-time by the end of the week.

Once the meeting ended, Leo made his rounds through the main and secondary hangars, re-familiarizing himself with the places he called home. He stopped and chatted here and there with friends and colleagues, and before he knew it, it was late afternoon.

That was when the captain summoned him. _Leo. Stop by my office when you have a moment._

Leo blinked, a bit startled to be addressed directly by the captain out of nowhere. _Aye, sir. On my way, sir._

He quickly made his way to the captain's office. Before he could knock, the captain called, _Come in_. And so Leo entered.

Captain Harley sat behind his heavy mahogany desk. He held an antique pen in his hand as he wrote something on what looked like actual paper. He put down the old-fashioned implements and rose to his feet as Leo entered.

"Leo," he greeted him, moving from behind his desk to shake Leo's hand. "Welcome back."

Leo smiled, returning the captain's firm grip. _Thank you, Captain. I am happy to be back._

"A remarkable recovery, I hear. I find it almost hard to believe that you're Mu, as tough as you are."

Leo smiled. _They took very good care of me in sickbay._

"So it seems." Harley regarded him in silence for a moment, but then he spoke again. "Leo, you must be wondering why I called you here. It's simple: I want you to keep an eye on the Soldier."

_Is something wrong?_

"No. But his influence with the Elders—such that it is—is eroding rapidly. I even thought he and Zel would come to outright blows at the last Council Meeting."

Leo frowned. He had sensed from Jomy's behavior that the last meeting hadn't gone well, but he did not know it had been that bad. He wasn't actually surprised, though, after witnessing Zel's outburst in the park.

"Leo, you're his right-hand man. I need you to be there for him. I'm not asking you to spy on him for me, but if you notice anything odd—if you realize that these 'issues' are affecting him more intensely than they should, I need you to let me know."

_Of course, Captain. I will do anything in my power to assist the Soldier._

"I know. I would do more myself, but I am limited in my role as member of the Council." He folded his arms. "Some say I favor him too much as it is."

_Captain, assuming it's not a terrible breach of protocol, would it be possible for me to attend the next council meeting with the Soldier?_

"I see no reason why he couldn't bring you along."

_Then I would like to attend. _ It seemed clear to Leo now that some of the Elders on the Council were merely shifting all the responsibility and all the blame to Jomy. It was time the Soldier had some visible supporters—other than the captain—by his side.

The corner of Harley's mouth quirked up. "I see your faith in the Soldier has remains as strong as ever. Stay by his side, Leo. I suspect he will need you even more than he already does."

_I will, sir. No matter what._

"You have my gratitude. I look forward to seeing you at the next meeting."


End file.
